Nothing beats the awesomeness of becoming a Hokie fan

Nothing beats the awesomeness of becoming a Hokie fan. Not only will this makes me part of something special, it will also connect me instantly to those that share the same interests as well. This is what makes up the family-like camaraderie among the Hokies; they share a strong sense of pride in their identities and establish visible unity among themselves. In addition, Hokies live in the same community at Blacksburg, a place I dream to reside in. Known for its reasonable cost of living, pleasant climate, and favorable services, Blacksburg has been consistently ranked as one of the best places to live in. Anyone who has visited would agree that Blacksburg is a paradigmatic example of a perfect college town. Becoming a Hokie fan also will also gain me access to various fields of study offered by Virginia Tech. It is a place where not only a Hokie fan can socialize but can also learn and absorb new knowledge beyond their levels. With such promising educations, one is guaranteed with opportunities to succeed. I have held onto this believe ever since the day I learn about Virginia Tech. When you are the first generation to attend college, the belief grows even stronger. I know for a fact that this will become a life-changing experience for me. What else is there for me to consider? I am simply following the path of where my heart guides, a reason to become a true Hokie fan.

Hello,

" Known for its reasonable cost of living, pleasant climate, and favorable services," I don't think I have every read that in a college admissions essay. Are you selling real estate in Blacksburg? Ok now to the serious stuff, since the school is asking you about your top 5 reasons, at least 2 of those should deal with the academics/resources available at the school. This should be a granular level response....ie talk about specific courses/professors that you would love to take/research with. This will make your essay sound more realistic and not like a sales brochure. - Admissions Advice Online

Hope this helps.

Thank you for your advice. I have changed up a few things. Please help me to determine whether they would do the job.

Hokies live in the same community at Blacksburg, a place I dream to reside in. One could simply enter this home-like town and blend right into the world of Hokies as they bonding over the shared passion for the orange and maroon.

Becoming a Hokie fan also will also gain me access to various fields of study offered by Virginia Tech, especially the Computer and Electric Engineering-the twos I've always wanted to get into. This will undoubtedly push me forward in my future career as an engineer.

With such promising educations, opportunities become abundant; one can easily find their career of choice and excel above and beyond. Especially when you are the first generation to attend college, this becomes an essential requirement for a promising future. It will be a life-changing opportunity for a student like me to experience.