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NYU Abu Dhabi. The idea of going to an university, let alone leaving the school, had been disturbing


Waheguru225 1 / 2 1  
Nov 20, 2016   #1
Why do you want go to do NYU Abu Dhabi? (common app essay)

The idea of going to university, let alone leaving the school, had been disturbing: To me, it was an institution where the teachers and students shared no bond, a place without any extra-curricular, where the only focus is to study in a tedious manner while specialising in one field.

Studying in an international school in Germany has shown me the importance of pursuing education in a culturally diverse school, and has transformed the little me into a knowledgeable and critical thinker. The multicultural ambience at NYUAD will not merely help me understand different viewpoints and aspects, but also help me discover my own identity.

It comforts me to know that I would be able to engage myself in various clubs and core programmes, especially 'Immortality and Regeneration' and 'Laughter,' along with focusing on my majors and minors. Due to these core subjects, my knowledge won't be limited to my majors and minors. 'Immortality and Regeneration' and 'Laughter' would cultivate my understanding and knowledge about humans, science, and different cultures as they would have different perspectives.

I am interested in the sciences, but the flexibility of the liberal arts system would help me figure out what I would like to take as my majors and minors, along with giving me an opportunity to experience an array of disciplines making sure I get a well-rounded education.

Having lived in Germany for the last four years of my life, I would love to visit the middle east, where the culture is similar to India's in some ways, but yet there are endless things to explore about it. The residential educational events at NYUAD provides a home-like atmosphere, forms a society where one could learn about community spirit, get creative, and showcase your talent at Ultra Violet Live.


 The unfamiliar atmosphere, which had been my biggest fear, does not exist at NYUAD: smaller class sizes, a global atmosphere, rich academics, individual attention, and a close-knit community would give me the best way of education a student can get.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Nov 20, 2016   #2
Hi Harleen. It would be in your best interest if you start off the essay by immediately saying that you started your education India and moved on to Germany and are now considering studying in AD. That is because you should be trying to show the reviewer that you are aiming for a well rounded international education and that you have been following the Liberal Arts template from the very start of your higher education. Thus making the move to NYU-AD a logical progression in your educational ladder.

I am interested to know if you have already been to the NYU-AD campus? You sound like you have already interacted with the university students and enjoyed the campus life for some reason. If you have, you should explain about that visit from a personal point of view. If you have not done that, I don't suggest that you say that the activities at the university offer a home-like atmosphere to you. That would be assuming too much based solely upon what the second hand information that you have received either through the website or experiences of other people.

Your closing statement really just contains a generic ending for your essay. You could be describing any other university with those keywords. In my opinion, you should end the essay with the paragraph that indicates your fondness for science and how the university can give you an opportunity to have a well rounded education. You just need to modify it to sound more like a conclusion than it does at this point.
OP Waheguru225 1 / 2 1  
Nov 20, 2016   #3
@Holt
Hello!

Thank you so much for your feedback.
I have never been to NYU-AD before, and you are right in saying that the ending is generic. I will take your advice into consideration and write another draft.

:)
kangsix 2 / 7  
Nov 21, 2016   #4
@Waheguru225
Hi! If I'm being honest, I'm very bad at peer editing but I'll give it a shot. You are unclear about where you lived/studied before international school and if that is in India, I think that you should introduce this in the beginning, as this would help strengthen the fact that you would enjoy NYUAD. Another thing is that I feel like the random events that you would enjoy sound just that.... random. Instead, find a way to tie those events in together to make it sound stronger and less like a laundry list. Good luck! :)
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 21, 2016   #5
Hello, let me give my correction for you

while specialisingspecializing in one field

of pursuingan or the education (the word "education" need the article in this sentence)

The multicultural ambienceambiance

core programmesprograms

thank you


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