Hello. There are four short answers, each with a max of 500 characters, for the NYU app. Could you guys please look these over for grammatical mistakes, let me know about the appropriateness of my response, as well as help me shorten the ones that are too long? I've included the prompt above each answer, as well as the character count. Character counts above 500 need to be shaved down.
Thanks in advance. I appreciate your feedback!
Prompt: Describe a trait or characteristic that has been passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself.
My character count: 511
My father has a big nose, and I got it from him. The bump on the bridge of one's nose has come to be called a "Jew bump" by younger kids of Brookline, which is a very Jewish community. As a kid I was self-conscious of my big nose, but now I laugh it off, and I would not have it any other way. Wearing a Star of David around my neck, it is pretty obvious I am a Jew, but if someone does inquire, I will always laugh and turn my head to show them my profile, saying "Can you not tell just by looking at my nose?"
Prompt: New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?
My character count: 578
I have always envisioned myself doing research in college. I realize that researchers can study a single thing for tens of years before coming to any sort of conclusion, but science is my passion, and to help a researcher is the ultimate application. I feel that all the years I have studied biology and chemistry were to prepare me to go out and discover something that would change the world. I have read about countless research libraries and laboratories all in the heart of New York City, and am anxious to see a new page added to the textbooks after I publish my findings.
Prompt: You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why?
My Character count: 455
I never knew much about music, and I don't keep up with what happened to which pop star or who just released a new album, so I don't know many songs, but if I were selected to sing in a talent show I would choose to sing Avenue Q's "What do you do with a B.A. in English?" After seeing Avenue Q on Broadway, I became addicted to their songs and almost had some memorized. I enjoy making people laugh, and I think comedy is the best form of entertainment.
Prompt: Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.
My Character count: 380
Science is my passion. Though I aspire to be a dentist, I plan to try to do microbiological research on the side, using either grants or a university research salary to furnish my lab with equipment and tools. I chose to apply for admission to the College of Arts and Sciences solely to be able to pursue a biology major and to have as many science courses open to me as possible.
Thanks again for the feedback!
~Jonathan Flash
The first one is good, it shows your personality and that your proud of who you are. you could cut out ' and i would not have it any other way'.
The third one also shows your personality and i think it is good.
In the second one, to shorten it i think you could cut out the middle sentance 'i feel that...change the world' or shorten it because you go into how badly you want to research and how you plan to do that in the fourth prompt.
The fourth shows that you know what you want to do and have a set course for it.
good!
p.s. you have a sweet last name.
