I desperately need some critical feedback because I cant decide if this is any good or if i should just scrap it. This is just the beginning of the essay so help would be greatly appreciated! THANK YOU SO MUCH :) I will help with any essays too!
1. Given your NYU campuses of interest - whether they are your primary and alternate home campuses of interest or where you would like to study away while you are a student - where, exactly, would you like to study at NYU - and why?
2. Whether you are undecided or you have a definitive plan of study in mind, what are your academic interests and how do you plan to explore them at NYU?
In the depths of my closet sits a backpack. At first it towered over me, a glorious monstrosity that doubled my size, but now the roles seem to be reversed. Nestled in the front pocket is an envelope addressed, "To my best friend" in jagged strokes. A note hides inside[peeks out], beckoning, "Lets Go." The two words that fuel every dreamer, challenging our adventurous spirit. At ten years old, there was no doubt in my mind that once the time came I would be off scaling the frigid Andes, rafting through the Grand Canyon, and exploring ancient ruins in Rome. I could feel the hot, enticing breath of adventure pressing upon my neck. There was no stopping me.
That same backpack has patiently waited seven years now, collecting dust and harboring the overflow of books, Doctor Who action figures, and pre-owned Pokemon games . I am now seventeen years old, and again I find myself presented with the chance to fulfill the dreams of a little girl who simply wanted to "Go." NYU allows me the opportunity to explore the cities of my dreams while learning about ancient civilizations, mastering foreign languages, and researching various cultures. At the NYU Paris campus, I will be submerged in the epicenter of France where I can fully experience the culture and embrace my anthropological aspirations.
I love the first paragraph! Right away I knew I got the idea that you waited to be a social science major; anthropology or archaeology. The first sentence shows your commitment to the social sciences and shows how long you have harbored this passion. The imagery you use to describe the backpack helps the reader actually see the backpack in the closet collecting dust. It actually made me think my my school bag in my closet right now. You were able to completely answer the prompt in two short and concise paragraphs, which I personally had trouble doing because I just ramble on. Over all good job! I believe your essay is one of the better ones I've read.
