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NYU essays: biology + connections + Dr. House from House, MD.

amazingA 8 / 35  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

Growing up in India, I had seen the most earnest acts of gratitude being bestowed on my parents by their patients upon successful knee replacements. In order to emulate their achievements, I embarked on a journey to volunteer at various hospitals, both in India and in America, and gain the generosity gifted to my parents. Hence, at the NYU College of Arts and Science I plan to major in Biology and be extensively involved in research so as to create a strong base for my future in Medicine.

NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

I was sent to America in order to be exposed to the cultural variety that was missing in the Indian society. NYU being the multicultural epitome of the United States will perfectly suit such needs. According to my parents, their contacts with people of such a wide variety of nationalities and cultures allowed them to be as successful. Hence, studying in a global university will allow me to gain different perspectives on issues, befriend a multitude of people and prepare me for the real world.

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

Ever since I was used to being shunned out of my father's surgical room due to the lack of sterilized scrubs, I have denied such rigidness in a physician's profession. Dr. House, the protagonist in the TV series House, M.D., on the other hand enters the operation theater without adequate sterilization and is still a reputed doctor. Hence, I wish to invite Dr. House to my father's operation theater, and have him convince my father in order to remove any grudge I hold against this situation.

what do you guys think about the answers overall?
are they adequate?

bbish520 8 / 30  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
The first question's answer i think its pretty good
The second i think you should elaborate more because many colleges has a diverse student body so it may not be only NYU that can offer the multitude of different people with different cultures.

The third, because its truly depends on you, i think that grudge thing shouldn't go, may be some other strong point

Hope i helped!

Check out mine please :D
thedarktiger 1 / 9  
Dec 31, 2010   #3
I loved it. Especially the Dr. House bit.

Here are a few things, first off:

"and gain the generosity gifted to my parents"

change it to "gained" I think that would work.

I also agree with the person above, the Dr. House bit shouldn't have "grudge" while I found it humorous, it is slightly negative. Instead maybe change it to I would like to have Dr. House come into my operation theatre and have my dad teach him why one should be adequately steralized. (so it teaches House a lesson, though we both know it really won't)

For some reason your Indian accent is very apparent, which is neither good nor bad, just something I wished to state. Liken tumnhe tho bahut hi achha essay likha hai. =]
OP amazingA 8 / 35  
Dec 31, 2010   #4
For some reason your Indian accent is very apparent =]

yea so i don't know how an indian accent can be apparent from a written piece...but i surely see your psychology working; maybe it stemmed from the "Growing up in India" part. although to get rid of assumptions should be a critic's main goal, the lack of which worries me about the legitimacy of your critique

liken tuje mera essay aacha laga sunke kushi hui ;)

to the rest of critiques, i am grateful for all that you guys have pointed out

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