NYU's personality--multi-cultural, logistician, and open-minded

Holt could you please look at my NYU supplement before I submit? Thanks.

I am working on Barnard by the way.

Throughout my college search, every college formed a different personality in my mind. NYU's personality came out to be multi-cultural, logistician, and open-minded.

Coming from an immigrant family, I am a synthesis of the Eastern and Western values. My combined identity has given me a larger worldview to appreciate people from different cultures. A mosaic of world cultures, NYU would contribute to my global citizen identity, and I would be able to contribute back to NYU through NYU CMEP by building bridges with other cultures.

At NYU, I would like to major in Mathematics. People often ask me, "Why math?" and I tell them that it is about my personality. My objectivity takes me to organized solutions, and my creativity induces new ideas, allowing me to thrive. I love that the world can be illustrated through the lens of math. I once read an article that the spiral in a seashell could be explained by using a math equation and shared this fact with other people I came across. I want myself and others to see the universe through these lenses. Interested in both pure and applied mathematics, I chose NYU in particular, because these two areas of math coexist at The Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences.

Furthermore, I am interested in studying abroad through the Moscow Program. I read that the Russians have always taken a creative approach to studying mathematics; the idea of an in-depth study of the material seems wonderful to me. As the mission statement of the program states, "Not memorizing theorems and proofs, but discovering mathematics - this is our principle!" I always believed in learning for the sake of learning, rather than memorizing, especially after my AP Calculus teacher recommended to read the book, "Doing School," by Denise Pope. In addition, as a Big Sister mentor in the Students in Action team, I taught children math through fun, educational games instead of plain worksheets. I see learning as a combination of experience, creativity, engagement and, even, having fun. This combination is uniquely at NYU. It is the only school that would provide me outstanding life experiences and allow me to extend Mathematics beyond the classroom. I want to be part of a community where I will be able to gather and apply knowledge anywhere possible and work with students like myself, who crave what the world has to offer. Luckily, I stumbled upon NYU.

@mualla

Hi there, This essay is well-written and I believe that it answers all the questions NYU has asked. The very last line seems a little off, don't you think? I think the last paragraph will appear better without that last Luckily line.

Anyways, that is just one man's opinion. Holt will definitely be able to provide much useful insight.

Good Luck.

As said before, your essay seems really good. You give personal aspects of yourself without leaving the academics and the passions out, in your third paragraph I think you could specify you're talking about Fibonacci so the reader knows that you're not just putting facts you read but you actually know what you're talking about.

In my opinion your last sentence shouldn't be changed, it actually gives it a bit of a short closure and I like that.

Very good essay overall !

@alexgzm

The best comment I had so far! For fibonacci do you suggest I put his name instead of Russians, like this:

I read that Fibonacci has always taken a creative approach to studying mathematics; the idea of an in-depth study of the material seems wonderful to me.

@Holt

Hi Holt
Is it possible for you to take a look at my NYU supplement please?

Mualla, since this is a supplemental essay, there is no actual topic placed for your to respond to. Which is why you are free to discuss anything in the essay. While you have created a very interesting essay to read, it is too scattered in approach because of the lack of focus on a particular topic. In my opinion, the supplemental essay can be better utilized for your application if you do something specific. I would like to suggest that you create a prompt of your own. Read the other essays that you wrote for this application. Which of the essays do you think is your weakest? Use this essay to further strengthen that particular essay by offering an extended discussion or an explanation of that particular essay. Normally, the supplemental prompts are used to boost your application chances by allowing you to present additional information or explanations regarding your application shortcomings or weaknesses. I suggest that you do the same with this supplemental essay.

@Holt
Holt Sorry for not understanding. If possible could you please elaborate on what you said here: "Which of the essays do you think is your weakest? Use this essay to further strengthen that particular essay by offering an extended discussion or an explanation of that particular essay. Sorry. Its not that you cant explain; I just dont understand sometimes.

No problem Mualla, I am starting to understand that there are times when I say things that don't come across clearly to others. I am just glad that you are giving me an opportunity to explain further. I am not really instructing you to do anything too complicated or difficult. It just requires some review of your previous work on the essays for this university.

When you read the essays that you wrote for NYU, is there any essay in particular that you feel like you could explain yourself better? A point where you would like to add some information because you believe that the previous essay would be stronger or help your application better if you had a chance to increase the information about that topic? If you have a sense of that for any of those essays for NYU, then use the supplemental essay portion, since it does not tell you to discuss anything in particular, to strengthen the previous essay. You can say something like, "In relation to the discussion about common app prompt #... I would like to take this opportunity to explain myself further."

By doing this, you will be able to present your application in the strongest light possible and also, allow you to better convey your personality, character traits, beliefs in life, or advocacy to the reviewer in a manner that will tell him that you are an exemplary person in real life and should be given a chance to attend the university. Convey the idea that these are the reasons why you would make for a perfect candidate for the program. Say, I think you have a prompt that runs along those lines right? Maybe you can enhance that essay with the supplement?