NYU Supplements: Prospect of Discovery/Diversity/Male Dancer

I would appreciate any feedback.

Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

It is the prospect of discovery as well as my work outside of school that has drawn me to NYU's CAS. Psychology has developed as an independent scientific discipline more recently in relevance to our world's other assorted sciences and therefore its potential of breakthroughs is both high and intriguing. Working in childcare I have observed the beginnings of the human thought process, which has genuinely bolstered my desires to understand the human mind.

NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

Many people feel comfortable choosing what is most familiar to them, and most live their lives content with this choice. For me, a life fulfilled is one that pushes me outside the comforts in which I have grown accustomed to. The University is not walled off from the intricate character of the city that its students learn to call home, but rather welcomed by the world; as it facilitates and fosters diversity. The atmosphere that NYU so organically fosters would very simply allow me to climb beyond the walls of conformity that I have grown into.

If you had the opportunity to bring any person - past or present, fictional or nonfictional - to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc.), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

As a child I struggled with conflicting passions. Dancing, was an outlet like I had never known, while playing soccer was the foundation in which I built friendships. Soccer, unlike dancing was deemed socially acceptable by my childhood friends. My grandpa, however favored my success in dance because he more than anyone knew how much I truly loved it. If afforded the opportunity, I would bring my grandfather to the stage in which he watched me perform. On that stage I would share with him pure gratitude. It is because of his efforts of reassurance that my confidence grew. He shaped my life well beyond my years of dance.

For the first essay, I think you should include how NYU CAS would help you in your intended career.
The second one is quite flawless.
In the third one, I would do the following:


I just feel like it ends too abruptly

I think you meant to type relation instead of relevance. I guess it is true that potential for breakthroughs is high due to the newness, but is it really that new? Maybe it is new as a scientific discipline, but actually it has always been around...

beyond the walls of the conformity into which I have grown. into .

Awesome, I really like the one about your grandfather. Good choice... I wonder if you could come up with a sentence that speculates about whether this is what HE would most like to do while visiting with you. I bet it is indeed what he would like to do; but if you give a sentence that considers his thought process, it will take you deeper into the writing (or revision, in this case, if you are still working on these little essays.) Good luck, you are great!

:-)