Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
To be honest, I can't think of anyone who has made a really great impact on my life. I was actually thinking of writing this alter ego of mine and how he has shaped me to who I am or what I am today. Do you think this is a risky idea? I wrote a little on it already and am stuck. I can't seem to draw a clear line between that alter ego and me or do a proper linkage between me and him. Need some serious help. I might end up sticking to the more conventional way of writing on someone rather than this. Anyway, here's an excerpt of what I've written so far.
X made an impact on my life. X made me who I am and what I am today. X helped me to realize my dreams and aspirations; more importantly he led me on a path towards it. X, is important to me.
Meet X, my alter ego. Shaped and formed through the years under the careful, moralistic upbringing by my watchful parents. The rich Chinese heritage and strict family values gave birth to a child who was obedient yet rebellious, disciplined then again unruly. Hints of oxymoron characteristic traits were seen in this child but he grew up bursting with youthfulness and cheerfulness. A happy childhood is all one can guess.
The approach could be interesting. The only problem I can see is that, if you are a good person and potential applicant, then your alter ego is likely not to be, and so his existence weakens your application. OR, your alter ego would be a great applicant, but you would not be. Either way, that seems to be an issue. If you can make both you and your alter ego seem like good applicants, then it shouldn't be a problem.
If you are really stuck, but decide not to go with the alter ego, don't forget that you can invent a teacher or friend who taught you something important. The admin officers have no way of fact checking these essays, after all.
As to the plagiarism, no. Most students use only slightly modified versions of application essay for all universities.
Thanks alot for your input! I was thinking I could probably have my alter ego have a character trait that's different from mine and balance things out.
You could go with a juxtaposition of two traits that both have clear advantages, I suppose. Introversion and extroversion, perhaps?
Just what I needed! I'll try to finish it by 4am and post it here again!
Isnt the UT essay due by 15th of Jan? Im stuck in the same situation and trying to figure out how i can complete 3 essays in another 2 days -_-
Yeah, Its due on the 15th of january which happens to be my birthday as well. And I'm working late to finish 2 essays.
I'm having a serious writer's block and wrote many versions of the essay but so far, I've narrowed down to this. Need a little more advice and inspiration to continue.
(...to be continued, stuck at the moment)
Your idea is very interesting but it can work both ways for you
The reader can get a deeper insight into your personality and can either be impressed by it or can dislike it but the most important fact is you stick to your vision
To be honest,
So are you only sometimes honest? I think using such cliche phrases is not a good idea in the academic world...
I think that is a really cool idea. i almost wanted to write something like that because i didnt have a person who impacted my life in a huge way.
Great idea for this essay, but the lines seem blurry between you and X. I think you should separate your (selves) a little more clearly at the beginning, and be sure to answer the prompt.
Good luck in school!
:)
Blurry? Could you elaborate a little more? Do you mean that I should write about X more like another different person rather than this shady character?
So far, I've written about this much. Still thinking of a conclusion. What do you guys think?
X was not, however, without his flaws. His outlandish character and gregarious attitude caused trouble in school back when we were younger. He was chatty and inquisitive, often too curious for his own good, and had his fair share of spills and thrills; luckily, I was always there to provide a reality check before X went all the way overboard.
When I said to clear it up... I was thinking more of character development. This new draft is very clear, and it really seems to work--but in order to justify taking this unconventional approach, I think you need to give X a good introduction. One great sentence can explain why X exists and what your experience of X has been. Imaginary friend? Inner critic? Someone you pretend to be? A persona against which you contrast your ideal self in order to better understand your ideal self? With one good sentence at the beginning of the essay, you can make th reader understand who X is to you and why X is REAL ENOUGH to qualify as the topic of this essay.
Good luck!!!!!
Thanks for the input. I think I get what you mean now. I'll work on the introductory and do a nice wrap up for the essay then.
Oh and by the way, when UT states a deadline of 15 january, do they mean that we can submit the essay latest by 11:59PM 01/15/2009?
As the essay stands, it is unclear what separates you from X. You explain X's characteristics, but not really your own. Plus, you say that you took on some of X's characteristics. But if he is an alter ego, and you start taking on his characteristics, then he isn't really an alter anymore. So, you need to explain more clearly how you differ from X, and, as Kevin said, how X came about.
Alright, I added some new paragraphs and did some minor changes. How's this? Still thinking of a final sentence to sum things up. Working on my 2nd essay now.
X made an impact on my life. X made me who I am and what I am today. X helped me realize my dreams and aspirations; more importantly he led me on a path towards it. X, is important to me.
Meet X, my alter ego. We were shaped and formed through the years, under the careful, moralistic upbringing by my watchful parents. The rich Chinese heritage and strict family values gave birth to a child who was obedient yet rebellious, disciplined then again unruly. Hints of oxymoron characteristic traits were seen in this child but he grew up bursting with youthfulness and cheerfulness. A happy childhood is all one can guess.
During the early stages of my life, I was a child in need of attention. I was always on the move, hyperactive some may call it but in a positive way. Frankly speaking, memories back then were transient and felt evanescent with a touch of whimsy lost in translation and I was not able to garner much information from the not-so-distant past. Yet, amidst all that smoky past, one unforgettable person stood out; X.
X was created to help me break free from my monotonous boredom of life. He was the adventurous risk taker, the person who walks the talk and pushes the boundaries. At the same time, he was also my inner critic, a juxtaposition of introversion and extroversion. Yet, at the same time, he was also my best friend.
He was always blossoming like dandelions during spring time, full of energy and wore a never-ending smile. An optimist by nature, and together with his extroverted character, X had the ability to always remain calm and unflustered in times of difficulty or trouble. In time to come, I would realize that I too eventually contracted this similar quality that he possessed. Be it rushing to meet an important deadline for my final year project or personal issues that required immediate attention, I felt that I was able to take on the challenges in life with more confidence and with a positive attitude. To remain calm in situations like these helps to clear our mind from any unwanted distractions and most importantly, allows us to think rationally.
This came in handy during my stint in the army where I was the head of the logistical support group in my company. We were on an exercise in the training grounds when our main supply routes were intercepted by the "enemy". Already being short of men for support, I faced a great challenge where time was of invaluable essence. Yet, amidst all that chaos, I was able to devise a plan and we successfully took back control of our supply routes. Life is indeed full of challenges and upsets, yet how one succumbs or overcomes such pressures would ultimately determine his/her worth. The indelible influence of X has made me stronger and wiser.
X was not, however, without his flaws. His outlandish character and gregarious attitude caused trouble in school back when we were younger. He was chatty and inquisitive, often too curious for his own good, and had his fair share of spills and thrills; luckily, I was always there to provide a reality check before X went all the way overboard. Ironically, my constant look out for him so as to keep us out of trouble helped develop my analytical skills. It was a matter of doing the right things at the right time; grasping the opportunity when it was right, much akin to joking around in class only when we're having a light hearted discussion instead of doing so when the principle was around. After all, in life, we are to face many different situations that call for the correct remedy and response, and it is without doubt that many falter due to the wrong approach.
Other than the direct influential aspects X has had on my life, he also turned out to be a person which I could contrast against my ideal self so as to have a better understanding of one self. The qualities and traits I saw in him made me realize that I too was capable of great achievements alone without having to always depend on him. My intrigue for knowledge and the interest in machine theory and mechanics were all the effects of a person who simply understood himself better. I emulated X. As a result, I was able to realize where my interests and passion lies and the path to take in order to attain success.
The impact X has brought upon my life and the valuable skill sets that he instilled upon me is unquestionable. My shy nature and introverted character would never be enough to help me truly succeed in life. Yet each time when I was about to falter, X was there to aid me and to guide me along. It is without doubt that he is the person worthy of being remembered that has carved such a lasting memory in my life. To me, getting to know this person X isn't just a mere vicissitude of fate, but rather, ...(Thinking of a nice sentence to wrap things up...)
Any suggestions?
This looks much better! If you're having a hard time with your last sentence, just go back to the beginning and reiterate one of the first things you said about X to bring the essay full circle.
:)
Thanks alot Kevin! You've really been of great help so did the rest of the EF moderators and fellow members! Anyway, do have a look at my prompt 2 essay as well!
Great Essay, you might want to just tie into something that you said in the first paragraph in the last one. :)
This draft is definitely more detailed with better flow than previous iterations. I believe, though, that when you say "when the principle was around." you really mean "principal."
Oh dear, I was like submitting my essay when I read your post and found out about my mistake! Thanks for pointing that out!
Ah, you've submitted it, then? Well, at least you know you handed in a draft that you spent a lot of time on, and that is generally well polished. Hope you get in :)
