My obsession with giraffes(UGA ESSAY)

Tell us an interesting or amusing story about yourself that you have not already shared in your application. (200 Word Limit)

I am a little obsessed with giraffes...okay I am VERY obsessed with giraffes. Beyond the giraffe shirts, toys, necklaces and trinkets, I have found a true appreciation for the species as it has brought me to think of beauty in different ways other than the obvious. The long neck and lanky limbs of giraffe are quite uncommon among many animals yet their features strongly resemble my tall and limber body frame. As an adolescent, I wondered how my body turned out this way when all of the other girls around me were short and petite. Determined to find answers, my curiosity eventually landed me at a casting call for a modeling agency in Atlanta.I remember being surrounded by so many other 'giraffes ' who gave me insight as to what beauty can be. Not all of the models had the same hair, same eyes, same skin color which made the experience an amazing eye opener. Since then I have looked at not only models but everyone as a unique individual and furthermore embraced my own physique. The inspiration which stemmed from my admiration of giraffes become far more than a simple obsession but a peace of mind.

Overall I would say this is really good! The only thing I would do is just try to make the connection a little clearer between you and the giraffes. Maybe something about how you always liked them so much because you sort of felt like one yourself.

These are just a few grammar corrections I would fix - nothing major

should be for
it is a very interesting essay by the way:)

I think it is different, however it lacks a strong connection . :-|. It represents self-esteem, but I believe the end of it was a bit colloquial .

I would suggest you spend 2 more sentence about peace of mind.

The essay question asks an interesting or amusing story about yourself. However, in my opinion, you just talk about "Giraffe" not really about your self.

i agree with you

You need to add more about yourself. What does your obsession with giraffes tell the reader about you? Think along the lines of something like you are young and playful at heart or something like that.

Thank you sooooooo much!! I will definitely take all of the notes into consideration!!