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Obstacles and conflicts are everyday occurrences


kgonzales2014 1 / -  
Oct 20, 2013   #1
The topic is Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, and the skills and resources you used to resolve it. Did it change you? If so, how? I would like any feedback I can get to make this the best essay I can make it!

Obstacles and conflicts are everyday occurrences that everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives. Some obstacles may be big, others may be small, but each has their own trials and tribulations that come with them. How our lives go are greatly determined by all obstacles and trials we face throughout. I've been faced with many obstacles in my life, the most prominent being my biological father.

My biological father and I's relationship was never a "real" relationship. He was constantly in and out of my life, and that made me feel horrible. I felt like I would never be good enough, or that I would never be the daughter that he wanted. It wasn't until I was about 13 years old, that I realized I needed to stop being so hard on myself to be someone that I really wasn't.

Through my realization, I decided I needed to take action. I began to write and play guitar. I found that through writing I was beginning to feel better by relieving all of the stress I was accumulating from my father. Also, through playing guitar, I noticed that I was becoming a happier and better person. I learned so much through my bad experiences with my father.

Even though I faced some tough times with my biological father, he helped me learn a few valuable lessons that I know I will use in the future. He helped me realize that I can't please everybody. This is particularly a big thing, because I used to try and make everybody happy, and when I couldn't, I would feel really bad. Another lesson I have learned through overcoming this obstacle is to do what makes me happy. Before I learned this, I would try so hard to make my father happy. I would try to do things that made him happy rather than myself.

By overcoming this obstacle, I have learned and grown quite a bit. I have gained many skills through my experience that I feel confident about using in the future of my medical career.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 20, 2013   #2
Obstacles and conflicts are everyday occurrences that everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives. Some obstacles may be big, others may be small, but each has their own trials and tribulations that come with them. How our lives go are greatly determined by all obstacles and trials we face throughout.

I guess you have a limited word count. So, I feel you should not waste three sentences and a considerable amount of words in describing things that are quite general and they already know. They are keen about knowing the obstacles you had and how you overcame them because their objective it to judge your personality. So, reduce the above into one sentence and start talking about your own experiences. That's my view on this.
pamcirin - / 1  
Oct 20, 2013   #3
How our lives go are greatly determined by all obstacles and trials we face throughout. Change how this is worded. sounds awkward.

My biological father and I's relationship was never a "real" relationship. Change this to my relationship with my biological father has never been a "real" relationship. Then explain why.

I have gained many skills through my experience that I feel confident about using in the future of my medical career. change the wording of this sentence. You never really said what skills you gained and you say in this sentence you gained many skills. Your essay only taps on a few.


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