This is for UPenn - "Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?"
The word count's fine, I just need general advice. Thanks so much!
Off to a Perfect Start
I have been a very curious person for as long as I can remember, and have always had a passion for new ideas and experiences. As a result, I have acquired a ridiculous number of hobbies, which in turn has culminated in uncertainty about the nature of my future professional career. Fortunately, the University of Pennsylvania's College of Arts and Sciences offers programs in all of my interests; and I am assured that, regardless of what major I choose, Penn will provide me with one-of-a-kind opportunities for research and involvement.
Although my potential academic paths are many, one of the fields I am seriously considering is psychology. The University of Pennsylvania, home to one of the top psychology departments in the world and the oldest one in the United States, is a superior place for me to pursue this path. Many of Penn's graduates have become leaders in the world of psychological research, and many breakthrough discoveries have been made right within Penn's walls. Studying psychology in a place with such a rich history in the field would be an unparalleled experience. I can see myself learning from Penn's renowned psychology professors, studying the achievements of the likes of Penn's own David Premack, and building upon the work of Penn students before me. One of the foremost aspects of Penn's psychology program that draws me is the opportunity for research; if I choose to become a psychology major, I will love to be able to not only become educated in the pressing theories of psychology today, but also have the chance to pose my own questions and answers. I have no doubt that I will take many valuable things away from my Penn education, but I believe an education is only truly and fully successful if it enables its students to leave their own marks-and that is precisely what I hope to do at Penn.
No matter what major I decide to aim for, of course, my numerous other interests are not something I intend to forsake. I hope to continue strengthening all of my facets while at Penn. Some of the first passions I developed were for the arts-specifically visual arts, creative writing, and drama-and I intend to continue feeding my artistic side. I am also interested in the environment (environmental sciences are also one of my potential majors), and I hope to take part in an environmental action movement at Penn. I have also been involved in equestrian for several years, and I would like to join the Penn Equestrian Team, as a club sport at the least. I hope to support and enrich not only my academic life, but also my personal interests at Penn.
My curiosity and plethora of interests are what make me-well, me. And although I do not know exactly what my future will be at the moment, I am convinced that at the University of Pennsylvania-with the exceptional academics of its College of Arts and Sciences, its incomparable research possibilities, and its wide array of extracurricular opportunities-I will be off to the perfect start.
Hi I think your essay is pretty well written already, but the first paragraph doesn't seem to serve much purpose; you make it quite clear in the third paragraph that you have multiple interests. I think you would come off much stronger if you talk about majoring in psychology right off the bat. You could strengthen that paragraph more by talking about why, out of all your interests, you chose psychology as your main area of study.
