Prompt: Why we should offer that space to you. Consider, for example how your extracurricular activities in high school and in your community have shaped you, what you have learned from those experiences, and how you will use those experiences to contribute to UB's campus community. [300-500 words]
Over the course of four years, the activities that I have taken part in helped shape me into the person I am today: someone who understands and is able to communicate well with others. Some of the activities I enjoy taking part in range from the Polish Club to the Boys Varsity Tennis Team. What I feel is the most important activity I take part in is volunteering in the elementary school across the street.
Every week I go over to the public school, P.S. 4, to help out with special needs children. I am what they call a "big brother" to the kids at the school. I remember going over there for the first time and once I stepped foot inside their classroom the children's faces lit up and were ecstatic to see me. That same day when I was assigned a little brother he was astonished that he got paired up with me. I feel that I have a great amount of responsibility resting on my shoulder since I have a "little brother" who looks up to me and watches everything I say or do.
For the past two years I have been the trip planner for the Polish Club. I have organized trips ranging from dinner at authentic polish restaurants to the yearly Pulaski Day Parade, which takes place each October. Since this year we have gained a lot of new members whom mostly are freshman. I have proposed and the idea passed of us having our own little float in next year's parade, but sadly I won't be attending prep anymore.
The one thing that I am going to miss most when graduating is the Boy's Varsity Tennis Team. This team has had the biggest influence on me and by far. I joined this the team as a walk-on freshman year of high school because of the talent I possessed and still have in this sport. During my freshman year, I was quite nervous since the majority of the team consisted of upperclassmen and we had plans on making it far that year. And we did, we ended up making it all the way to the finals of our league, which was the first time in many years. I realized soon after a few practices and games that there was no need to be nervous because the players were so comical that there was never a dull moment on the court. The players on the team were the greatest bunch of characters I have ever had the pleasure of playing with and being apart of. After the upperclassmen had moved on to college, we made sure that we come back and take the title home with us which we succeeded for the following two years. And this year we are looking for our third consecutive championship win.
As I look back at what I have done in my past three years of high school, I feel that I would be a great candidate in terms of my extracurricular activities. These activities helped shape me as a person in a well-rounded way, it causes me to be more social active and involved in the community. I would definitely influence UB's campus community by volunteering around the campus and actively taking part of the school tennis team.
I have 551 words. I cannot surpass 500. What should I cut out?
Help will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks
"What I feel is the most important activity I take part in is volunteering in the elementary school across the street. "
I feel that the most important activity I am involved with is volunteering at (the name of the elementary school)...
"I am what they call a "big brother" to the kids at the school." You could say, I am a "big brother" to the children at the school.
"I stepped foot inside..." you can delete foot
In the last paragraph the sentence about the activities making you a well-rounded person i think you should reword it...maybe you could say that "These activities helped me become well-rounded and caused me to be more socially active and involved in the community"
you need better transitions between your activities...Overall its good :) good luck!
