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My older brother made a behemoth impact on my life/ Common App/Significant Influence

bisonbabebri95 1 / -  
Sep 8, 2012   #1
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

My older brother has made a behemoth impact on my life, he demonstrated for me to take the high road, unlike him. In fact, we are complete opposites. My brother is not someone I would want to be when I depart into the real word. The judgments he has made have influenced me to be an excelling individual in countless ways, including going to college.

Growing up, my brother and I were complete opposites. He was the one who did not appreciate school, but I did. He did not like to display much respect, like I do, and most important he did not behave in school and acquire good grades as I do as well. School has always been very important to me. In my near future, I knew I would want to be accepted to a good college or university. My parents raised us very well; we always had what we needed and even what we wanted. This is why I do not comprehend the decisions he has made such as not attending college, not exploring a career, dealing with illegal drugs, and etc. His decision making sent him to prison for a year and two months, fourteen months that majority of people do not know was tough for me to accept. I never knew what made him feel obligated to not make positive choices with his life. I believe the choices we make in life characterize who we are or willing to become. He influenced me to make the appropriate decisions in my life, so I will prosper great things. In order for me to become successful, I know I would like to attend a great university that has a lot to offer.

Even with being six years younger than him, I would try to help him with his high school work, when I was just in middle school. Also, I would try to persuade him to understand that certain things he did were not the correct things to do. Sometimes, I would wonder if I had a positive influence on him. Most times, I wish he did not have such a negative impact on my life. He was not someone who I would want to be when I transformed into a young woman one day.

Without the influence of my brother, I would not be the human being I am today. He made me realize that I absolutely love helping people. As a child, I would to try to assist him with his life; I was accumulating the decision in my mind that I could want to help others as a career. In fact, I am going to help people professionally as my career. My brother may have been a negative influence in my life, but he was very significant.
amitt - / 80  
Sep 8, 2012   #2
Nice work. I like your way of expressing your self!!
esarcosmos 4 / 10  
Sep 8, 2012   #3
Its good you should just emphasis on chronology otherwise that's all good and yup well written ...

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