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My UM essay (ollege student and future physician)


Ianruth10 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2008   #1
UM's Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

By way of introduction, my name is Ian-Ruth Walker Clarke and I am a 17 year old aspiring college student and future physician. Arriving at this conclusion was not easy. For most of my young life I have been unclear about my career goal. This was not because I did not find school and most of the subjects that I was taking interesting, in fact, it was because my interests ranged across a variety of subjects including history and science . As I contemplated what I "wanted to be

when I grew up" I did not want to casually state that I wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, actor, or singer as was maybe expected of me by my parents and peers. I wanted t be sure that the career path that I chose was going to be exciting, interesting, and rewarding to me on intellectual, spiritual, and financial levels as I know that these were the things that were going to help sustain me throughout the next 60 or more years of my life as a professional. It was not until the death of my grandmother on August 9th, 2002 , an event that forever impacted and changed my life, that my path became clear to me.

My grandmother, Joyce, had a great influence on my life in many ways. She was a loving grandmother who catered to my every need, but who also instilled in me the value of hard work, perseverance and diligence. She valued education and stressed that I should strive hard to do well in school as education was one of the keys to life success. considered my grandmother to be a strong woman who unfortunately developed Systemic Lupus Erythematosus a life-threatening chronic autoimmune disease that causes the body to attack itself. As the name implies, this disease negatively impacts the cardiac, pulmonary, and musculoskeletal systems and at times causes great discomfort for persons who suffer from it. I watched my grandmother bravely face and fight the ravishing effects of this disease, the associated illnesses of the disease, and the side effects of the medications given to her to control her symptoms for years, but in the end, due to what my mother and I both believe was negligence on the part of the healthcare system and its providers, she suffered an agonizing death. Had things gone differently at that time, I may have been writing this essay on a different topic today. As it turned out, the day my grandmother died was the day I decided I wanted to be a doctor. I want to be the example that others will eventually follow on how to be a caring, empathetic, compassionate and knowledgeable physician who will always to do the best for those in her care.

The teachings of my grandmother, my parents, and those who are most close to me lead me to believe that I have the passion, integrity, and motivation to succeed in my chosen career path. Since the moment my decision was made, I have not wavered. I believe that the University of Miami will give me a strong educational foundation that will prepare me to continue my pursuit of becoming a medical doctor. If accepted to UF rest assured that I will work tirelessly to achieve my goals, forsaking the distractions that are often inherent on a college campus. My experiences will cause me to work hard so as not to lose sight of my dream as I know that I have the ability to make a positive impact on those that I encounter.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 1, 2009   #2
My grandmother, Joyce, had been a great influence on my life in many ways.

She valued education and stressed the fact that I should strive hard to do well in school as education was one of the keys to lifetime success.

I watched my grandmother bravely face and fight the ravishing effects of this disease, the associated illnesses of the disease, and the side effects of the medications given to her to control her symptoms for years, but in the end, due to what my mother and I both believe was negligence on the part of the healthcare system and its providers, she suffered an agonizing death.

this sentence is too long

Here are a few suggestions, hope they help!

Good luck in school!!:)


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