One's duty to keep the promise; Personal essay/ When I challenged a belief or idea

I am suppose to write this for university entrance essay. (I am not handing it in yet. But I still need to finish it)
can I get it checked please?

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
by: Samuel Younghyun Choi

　　During my time in Hawthorne middle school, there were many problems about food given in school refectory. The students wished the meals given in the refectory to be more higher quality and having better presentation. To make sure all students are having comfortable school life, I ran in school president election campaign and won.

　　As school president, I started working on the different problems students were facing to keep my promise I made during the election. However the plans I made to improve school food needed large quantity of data about school food and had to make sure that it did not break any regulations given by the district council. Because of amount of time taken to prepare and to get the plan approved, my fellow students started to believe that I will not be able to keep the promises I made during the president election.

　　To prove that I am able to get my plan to success, I concentrated on getting the plan approved. First, I gave all the students a questionnaire and collected the data about student's opinion toward the food given in school refectory. Than the data was sent with the plan to District Council, hoping that the plan will get approved. Soon after, I heard about the news that the plan I sent to District Council was terminated. This proved that I won't be able to improve the quality of food given in refectory. From that point, I realized that the plan will not be influenced by any district council regulations as long as it's inside school event related. So, I used my authority as school president to open a disco party after school using school fund. My council members brought the D.J and I bought the foods for party from stores approved by the teachers. The party was on twice every month and money we collected was given to the charity. Soon after the party, my school friends apologized for their behaviors and disbelief toward me.

　　If I was to be part of same situation once again, I will still try to keep my promise and continue the work even if it fails along the way. I believe that being a president is not about giving up a promise because a plan does not work. One's duty to keep the promise is important as continuing the work persistently and plan intelligently.

　　

The students expected the refectory to enhance the quality and presentation of the meals it provided.


.... this comes without much reference to the previous idea. I feel you need to set up a stronger connection. Was there a relationship with this winning and the issue of food?