The Latin motto E pluribus enum commonly symbolizes the unification of the thirteen original colonies into the great nation we know today. Meaning "out of many, one," this motto also symbolizes millions of people, coming from all walks of life, uniting as one nation, one people, and one family. Rutgers University's ethnically and culturally diverse community epitomizes the meaning of our nation's traditional motto. The many students of Rutgers herald from different backgrounds; however, they all have something in common: they are all part of one family of learners, ready and willing to embrace education for all it's worth.
I could easily see myself being a part of this family; using the many opportunities at Rutgers to build upon my life from learning and connecting with others. I have always been eager to challenge myself when it comes to education. I once attended a school where there school administrators underestimated my academic aptitude, particularly because I was an African American child of a single parent. But little did these administrators know that I was raised in a home where education was my top priority. I consistently strived to excel in all of my work, and later proved my doubters wrong.
Education is a key factor for success in the real world, and I was not letting anything keep me from getting a good one. The level of education at Rutgers allows me to further my own education in order to pursue and achieve my lifelong goal - to become a city planner. Many of my teachers and friends have told me that I have a knack for drawing. I love to draw buildings, buildings of all kinds. I always wanted to travel to Dubai, marvel at the Burj Khalifa and ask: "How is it possible to construct a building that is taller than the clouds?" I do not seek to become an architect; however, I do seek the opportunity to immerse myself in the concepts of architecture so that I may prepare myself for my career in the civil engineering field. Rutgers's numerous study abroad programs will give me the opportunity to immerse myself in different cultures as well as different styles of city planning. It is indeed a small world. Many people come from different backgrounds, races, and cultures, but come together to cherish that one important aspect of life - education, of course.
Not only do I see myself benefitting from the education at Rutgers, but also being a benefactor. I will be passionately active and ready to ensure a better future for myself, the people of Rutgers, and the world. As a young child, my mother always reminded me that "in order to gain your success, you must go the extra mile in all you do." These words of motivation continue to inspire me to be a well rounded student, not just high school, but in college and beyond. Many of my teachers and classmates knew my strong leadership potential. During my junior year, I was elected as Vice President of my high school's student government. This year, I was appointed the Corps Commander of my JROTC unit. I once led an operation with my chapter of the National Honors Society to feed the homeless, and received nothing more than a thank you. A week later, however, I received the Jesse R. Warr Memorial Award, a prestigious state award highlighting my outstanding community service. My leadership and service is essential to my own success, and I will continue to lead and serve as I progress through life.
It is indeed a small world; but when I think of the people of Rutgers, I am just one out of many. I am one who values education to the fullest. I am one who is not afraid to explore their future. I am one who strives for excellence. I am one who serves unconditionally for a better future. I am one out of many students who are just this.
Is the opening latin quote part of the prompt? Are you supposed to explain what it means to you in your entrance essay?
Rutgers University's ethnically and culturally diverse community epitomizes the meaning of our nation's traditional motto. The many students of Rutgers herald from different backgrounds; however, they all have something in common: they are all part of one family of learners, ready and willing to embrace education for all it's worth. If not, you spent most of the intro explaining something you didn't need to. You only get into what this means to you in the fifth sentence: "I could easily see myself being a part of this family; using the many opportunities at Rutgers to build upon my life from learning and connecting with others."
Do you identify with being part of the Rutgers family? (this has a stronger meaning than
could easily see myself) This next sentence is superfluous - why is it there? (
I have always been eager to challenge myself when it comes to education.)
After establishing a clear, focussed intro, the rest of your essay will fall in place. Here are some minor typos which I caught and one more superfluous sentence:
I once attended a school where there school administrators underestimated my academic aptitude
I am one who is not afraid to explore their future.
These words of motivation continue to inspire me to be a well rounded student, not just high school, but in college and beyond. Many of my teachers and classmates knew my strong leadership potential.
I felt your last sentence would be so much stronger and compelling if you could tie it back to being part of the Rutgers family.
