Topic: Envision yourself near the end of a fulfilling, lifelong career and you just published your autobiography. Share the title and introduction.
My essay is written in chronological order of imaginative my autobiography and I have no clue where I start to fix!!!
Please don't hesitate to be a critic and please help me in such as grammar, story line, tips to write autobiography, how should i start essay by intro or without intro, or how to write intro and conclusion.
I need a lot help!!! because i'm not good at writing!
Maybe my hair turns to gray color when I fulfilled my career goal and published my autobiography. I would like to say my title "No one knows me."
My mother was pregnant me when my father worked in one of Maryland's research institutes. Before I turned to one year old, my family backed to South Korea to cure my mother's rheumatism. To settle down, my father had to get a job immediately for hospital payment and started to work as an associate professor in university. Both of parents graduated from university and they also wanted to me to study like them. Seventeen years later, I moved back to the U.S. with American dream. Airplane landed and I walked out the airport with my family. Every circumstance was new and fresh; people, buildings, and so forth.
In a few days, my family rent apartment and I enrolled to high school. I started to learn English and encounter with cultural and language barrier. Contrast to Asian culture, individualism was ingrained in students' behaviors and I thought fellowship was little insufficient. When I was in South Korea, my friends and I got along together almost whole day; school started at 7:30am and finished 9:00pm. In America, when school dismissed, students drove their own cars to leave the school as soon as possible without spending some time on conversation with friends. I felt kind of loneness. However, the biggest problem was English. With my poor speaking skill and short listening, I felt I was isolated from school friends and our relationship was usually suspended at a certain point because we couldn't talk about serious topics. I was in a battlefield against those two problems. I became senior in high school and I discussed about my career goal with my parents. I said "I want to study a pharmacy," then parents said "Do it, if you want." I started to research and there was two way to become a pharmacist; by six year program or by under and graduate college. My English was still not that good, so I decided to go undergraduate college first.
My major was molecular cell biology and it was my best area to study; maybe I affected by my father because he also studied in biology. I set up my schedule to satisfy graduate college's requirements. Most of graduate colleges required more than 3.6 GPA and high score of PCAT (Pharmacy College Admission Test). My four years in university, I went back and forth between dorm, classes, and library. I had not many friends but we were close. In junior year, I acquired pretty high score on PCAT and graduated school with diploma and admission paper of graduate school.
First summer vacation in pharmacy school, I volunteered for SCHWEITZER FELLOWS PROGRAM which was to assist medical specialists for two months in Africa because I wanted to see the real-life situation and helped Africans. After eleven hours flight, we arrived at Leon M'Ba International airport in Gabon and Africa greeted my team with sizzling heat. To go Albert Schweitzer's hospital, we rode bus couple of hours. It was after 5pm when we arrived and there was line of Africans to get descriptions yet. For two months, I met thousands of patients from children to old people and especially when I saw little babies, my heart was torn. Last day in hospital, specialists, Africans, and our team took a shot. In a returning airplane, I resolved myself that even if I can be a doctor, I'll help Africans in my own way.
This is my introduction of my autobiography. It shows brief summary of my early age and what affect my future career. One day, I read about Albert Schweitzer's biography and that moment my blood circulated fast in my vein and I thought I wanted to be like him. With my ideal, I wrote introduction.
Hi :) I can help with your introduction:
Maybe my hair turns to gray color when I fulfilled my career goal and published my autobiography. I would like to say my title "No one knows me."
This would be better grammar: My hair will be gray by the time I finish my career goals and publish my autobiography. The title of my autobiography would be "No one knows me." (you may want to change what you are saying here, be clear that you plan on a lifetime of career goals, that you will never settle for less, always striving for more. The way you say it, the reader may think it will take forever to reach your goals.)
My mother was pregnant with me while my father worked in one of Maryland's research institutes. Before I turned to one year old, my family returned to South Korea, in order to cure my mother's rheumatism.
To settle down, my father had to get a job immediately to coverthe hospital payments and he started to work as an associate professor at a university.
Seventeen years later, I moved back to the U.S. with the American dream. The airplane landed and I walked out of the airport with my family. Every experience was new and fresh; people, buildings, and so forth. You may want to change the phrase "American dream"
You are off to a great start, I hope these corrections are helpful. Continue to work on your grammar. Nice topic. I wish you the best of luck.
