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"One small step" - UW Transfer Personal Statement


JoeLollo 1 / 3  
Jun 6, 2019   #1

Transfer personal statement for the University of Washington



The buzz of a broken speaker on a hot quasi-summer afternoon filled the air as I was walking up on the stage. "This is it, I guess", I exclaimed to no one in particular, "everything I've worked for is over". And within the next minute or so, I walked off the stage, high school diploma in my hands. It wasn't too difficult of a task to work for, but I made some meaningful memories along the way. It was around this time that I decided on a mentality for my life goals: take a step in making the world a better place, no matter how small the influence.

There was a problem, though - I didn't really know what steps to take in achieving it. Due to living in Washington my whole life, I only applied to in-state schools, and after a tough decision I chose to attend the University of Washington-Bothell due to initial interest in the school's appealing teaching and learning style, small classes, and accessible faculty. I chose to embark on a learning path that would expand my mind and enhance my knowledge of the world, thinking and learning more and more about its complexities through an interdisciplinary education, and making valuable connections through different clubs and programs across two college campuses.

At UWB, I mostly took courses in the School of Interdisciplinary Arts & Sciences to fulfill the requirements for my initial degree plans as a first step. Through the first-year Discovery Core course series, however, I learned the most I ever could compared to my other classes. These classes covering performing arts, creative writing, and film, had me bring together my learning of inclusive practices and creative collaboration to pursue meaning in my academic and social life and deepen my experience, both as a student and as a person. I do not think I could have made a better choice to transition into the college setting - every single memory I have of that class will forever be in my mind as a positive and enriching experience. Putting my heart and soul into creative assignments and creating valuable connections with a variety of classmates by collaborating and evaluating really went a long way to improving me as a student and as a person.

One of my favorite experiences since coming here, however, was in the Seattle campus, and it was how I truly found a community. Through the Department of Student Life's emails in the summer, I heard about a tri-campus program known as Unite UW, which builds bridges between domestic and international students at the university, breaking down barriers and boundaries and ultimately inspiring lasting relationships to unify the world. Every minute I spent in that program was worth it. I was going through a rough patch towards the end of last spring and even attempted suicide twice. It was not a good time. But, after reaching out to the right people who I met in that program, receiving the support that I never knew I needed, and continuing my participation in the program to share my story, hear the story of others, and become what I never thought I could have been to myself and others, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Life may be hard at times, but when you know your struggles and do the right things to move past them, improvement is certain.

Although I'm applying without a major, I do know what I want to do in life. Ever since I started at UWB, I had the goal of attaining a double major, or even a double degree if possible. I believe that I would not be able to have the full college experience I wanted with just one field of study, and that through an education with skills transferrable across academic disciplines, I would get the most out of my time in college. Although my coursework may not 100% show it, I do have clear areas which I want to study. My experiences may have provided me with many valuable experiences and opportunities for teaching and learning across cultures, but I do believe that it is a formal education in these core topics as well that can bring me closer to my goals. For this very reason, I am more than certain that UW Seattle will allow me to obtain and develop the full Husky experience necessary to achieve my life goal of making the world a better place.

With that in mind, my main intended major is Education, Communities & Organizations (ECO). Ever since I was a child and influenced by education in a variety of ways, I knew that it would be the career for me. I have been proactive in finding my career path so far, and I have come to terms that education is a very culturally and socially diverse field, and one that is integral to making the world work. Although there is an Educational Studies major at UWB, and it is a wonderful program, it is rather generalized in its approach, and I am specifically interested in any way of guiding future generations and having them learn core values in acceptance, appreciation, inclusion, and accountability - fostering the same sense of community that I have had through my own school experiences, and no program does it better than the ECO major. Community engagement and diversity, especially through education, have always been important qualities in my life, as I was raised in my household to believe that society thrives best when people from all over the world come together, regardless of boundaries and prejudice, and create something meaningful, and there is no better way to foster that than through facilitated interaction and engagement of various communities.

Each and every experience I had so far has given me valuable skills that I can translate easily into the major and into my career. Through my performing arts class this past spring, I gained effective communication and leadership skills that will be useful in any setting. My lab section for biology had me constantly collaborating and assisting students in tasks when they needed it. My experience at Unite UW has allowed me to connect with people from all over the world and hear their stories while sharing my own experiences and becoming more and more of a genuine example for others. I felt comfortable being in front of others and learning from them as much as they learned from me. This coming fall quarter, I am taking B EDUC 210 (Education in Diverse Societies) so that I can understand what this diverse field entails across different cultures and societies, and I could not be more excited for this golden opportunity to propel me closer to the career. If admitted, I will take EDUC 280 (Introduction to Community Education) as soon as possible not just so that I can declare the major upon its completion, but in fact to have the fullest understanding of my intended career field, take the next step in engaging with diverse communities, and use old skills to find new ways to express my own identity in the world.

Ultimately, I came to realize that focusing purely on my own education was never my passion, but that enriching the lives of others through any form of education is. Though I enjoy learning many things and have a vast knowledge of multiple subjects, the study of education itself - and especially the creativity, philosophy, psychology, and diversity behind it - has always appealed to me. Teaching and learning doesn't just happen in your run-of-the-mill classroom, but it happens in any way that engages our society in rapidly and actively changing the way they think. This is especially true in a "melting-pot"-type of city like Seattle, where many people who never get the chance for formal education will still have enriching experiences, and with people who are able to engage those experiences the city can truly flourish from its diversity. I hope to be able to apply what I learn through the university's program to finally reach my life goals, and with what I've done so far, I am confident to enter UW with an open mind, and definitely prepared for what the future has in store for me in the Seattle area. With all these terrific advantages, UW will truly push me closer and closer towards my goal of changing the world for the better, even with the smallest step forward.

Other stats (if you're interested):
Current Cumulative GPA 3.6 (improvement from high school, positive trend)
Application: In the summer, for winter quarter 2019 (summer quarter will be over for me)
Dean's list for 2/2 quarters so far, expected to receive it in spring & summer
Intended majors at UWB if I stay are Culture, Literature & the Arts and Educational Studies as a double major, intended major besides ECO is probably Informatics (why I'm taking INFO 200 + stats)

Active in clubs at both UWB and UW Seattle: Unite UW, Film Club (Seattle), Husky Gaming Club (Bothell)

Courses:
Fall 2018:
B WRIT 134 English Composition (3.6)
B CORE 104 Creative Writing & Storytelling: Re-Imagining Performance (4.0)
B CHEM 139 Introductory General Chemistry (3.1) - I can explain, I took this class because my friends from HS were doing it and I wanted to transition as well as possible into university

Winter 2019:
B WRIT 135 Research Writing (3.5)
B CORE 117 Images of Women & Feminism in Film (4.0)
B BIO 180 Introductory Biology I (3.4)
B BIO 181 Biology Lab I (credit received)

Spring 2019:
BIS 315 Statistics for Social Science (4.0)
BIS 170 Introduction to Psychology (in progress)
B CORE 120 Performing Arts & Community Building (in progress, expected 4.0)
B CUSP 133 First Year Reflection (credit received)

Summer 2019 (at UW Seattle):
COM 200 Introduction to Communication
INFO 200 Foundations of Information
PHIL 100 Introduction to Philosophy

Fall 2019 (back at UWB):
B EDUC 210 Education in Diverse Communities
BIS IA 207 Creative Writing
BIS 218 Geographic Visualization

Maria [Contributor] - / 483 214  
Jun 7, 2019   #2
@JoeLollo
Hi there!

I think that the composition is well-written. I would only suggest integrating more techniques to tailor-fit your essay to the overall formatting that you desire to have. If you can, for instance, remove the lines that are quite irrelevant to the overall dictated meaning of your content. If you can do this, you'll be able to curate more form-fitting structures that'll help you elaborate your thoughts more eloquently. In addition, the way that you transition between your sentences can be worked on. Stop using repetitive words to move between your content - instead, you should always opt to have more of an organic and naturalized approach to writing.

Using more synonymous words to glide between your phrases/sentences. Having a more directed approach will help you.

For instance, observe how I'll revise this portion:

Ultimately, I came to ... my passion, but that rather enriching the lives of others' lives through any form of education is educating them is. TAlthough I enjoy learning many things and have a vast knowledge of on multiple subjects, ... - and especially the ... ... classroom,; but it happens ... in rapidly and actively ...

Notice that there's no firm need for you to say rapidly and actively changing because these two descriptions are quite tangled and close to each other already.

Best of luck as always.
OP JoeLollo 1 / 3  
Jun 12, 2019   #3
@Maria
Thank you! I just edited mine more, using what you suggested, if you want to see it.


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