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One year abroad "field of study" essay - Common app

calliope 1 / -  
Feb 19, 2012   #1
Hi, I'm Priscila. I'm trying a one year abroad program in the USA. This is my essay:
Instructions: In an essay of no more than 500 words write a clear and detailed description of your study objectives. Be specific about your field of study and your specialized interests within this field.

A lot of people struggle with the decision of their majors, some never finding their inspiration in life. I was not one of them. I liked science since I was 3 years old - disassembling my toys was as fun as playing with them. So years later, when I had to face the daunting question of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, it wasn't so intimidating. I promptly knew that I wanted to be a scientist. Discovering things, looking for answers, creating knowledge - I was sure that was my purpose in life. And I still am.

Science means "knowledge" in Latin, and the fields of knowledge are innumerous. During primary and secondary school, I was exposed to a lot of them, learning a few things about many subjects, such as mathematics, arts, chemistry, social sciences. And I liked most of it, but one was the most special to me: biology. I loved learning about life, about the ties that bind all living things together. So in my higher education, I chose to study biomedical science in particular because I wanted to better understand and discover the intrinsic things about being human. Mostly, I wanted to know what it meant to be human - the distinctiveness of the human being.

After I got into college, I was amazed about how much knowledge there was in just one of the branches in the science tree. Cell and molecular biology, physiology, biochemistry, evolution - there were so many different aspects about life. And although I was sure I wanted to be a cientist, I didn't really knew what I wanted to research about. But during the 2010 Biomedical Science Week, an event in my university that aims to promote the different fields and the important news of biomedical science (which a year later I would help organize), I watched a lecture about neuroscience. I fell in love with the field, and decided that's what I wanted to research about.

Neuroscience is an amazing, interdisciplinary field. The study of the nervous system can be approached in many different aspects - molecular, biochemical, psychological and even philosophical, among others. Since it's such an intense field, I know I will have to study a lot. Being a scientist, I can't be narrow-minded - I have to understand that everything is connected, and consider different viewpoints.

It's 391 words right now, but I'm having a little trouble finding out how to end it. What do you guys think of it?


ChichoTran 7 / 15  
Feb 19, 2012   #2
My suggestion is to add one word in the beginning of your common app that summarize the entire essay.
Like for example if i did, " Challenges. At a very young at..."
See where I am going with this? Summarize everything and gave my paper a title (unintentionally), which is great!
Remember any number less than 10 is spelled out!
Also "many different" try using different words. Like there are, "countless" or "scores of."

Good luck!

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