Please help me out with any sort of errors and suggestions. And is my topic quite awkward? Please do suggest me a better topic. I wrote this down on a great hurry..please help!!
Prompt: Topic of your choice (Common Application essay)
Onions
"In onion there is strength." That is what the video store clerk said at least once in a day. He frequently used to shoot out weird unheard quotes while in conversation and he really enjoyed it. And he knew like a million quotes; a mastery achieved through years of movie consumption. But he had a particular zeal for this "onion" one and I too liked it although we both didn't have the slightest clue what it really meant. Actually, I thought he made this one by himself. I even liked it more when he said it.
I used to rent a lot of movies because I was quite lonely back then and I really didn't have many friends. And there was this guy; a video store clerk with whom I had grown quite close. Every time, when I went to the store, the clerk and I would gossip about movies and music. Once, he recommended me a Ken Burns documentary, so I rented the film. I watched it but I didn't enjoy it. So, I brought it back to the store next day and I found that the clerk was really eager to hear my perspective about the film. And then things started to get worse. I lied. I told him it was really great. I really don't know why I told him that because I am not actually a people pleaser. Perhaps, I didn't want to disrespect his choice. Anyway, I quickly discovered it was first of the five disc series. So, he ended up giving me disc two.
I hated it more than I hated the last one. So, I was determined to go back and tell him the truth this time. But when I got there and looked at those eager eyes, I just couldn't utter the truth. I lied again. I said disc two is even better that the first one. And the cycle continued on. Every day, I was "forced" to rent the series and all this time I could not tell him the truth. I didn't have to watch those films, but then every day he would talk to me about the film he previously rented me. So, I was trapped literally.
I began to get infuriated each time I saw the film and by the time when I finished watching the fifth disc, I had got really mad. I just couldn't believe myself. This clerk made me watch those dumb films, all five of them and I was there, completely doing nothing about it. I couldn't get this off of my mind and I just couldn't let him win. Now, I really wanted to tell him that his films were dreary. But then on my way to the store, something hit me in my mind. There was no point on blaming him. I realized that I created this situation and led myself through it. Had I told him before that I didn't find the film analogous to my taste, I wouldn't waste my time. And what difference would it make now? I didn't go to the store; I came back to home and thought about this for a moment.
I realized it wasn't about winning or losing. Instead, if I had expressed my anger to the clerk, things could have got worse. I pictured of the affable clerk and I wondered how upset he would be, if had showed my madness. For a moment, I thought of myself as a child, as fragile and new to the ways of the world; a child who couldn't figure between guilt and innocence. I blamed myself for my "near" immature behavior. But then, I also thanked myself for not telling the ugly truth to the clerk. I learned that sometimes it is better to hide the truth and sometimes it is better to be a people pleaser.
Now I see the funny side of the story. This mere clerk and this mere event made me wonder about my attitude. It is quite amazing to learn that even tiniest moment in life can make changes large enough in a person. Even a small respect can win a heart. Even an onion- a mere vegetable, has strength. I guess, I finally figured out the significance behind the saying. I thought of the clerk as the onion who had the strength to make me watch those films. Or maybe the Ken Burns documentary itself was the onion. But, in reality I was the onion who summoned my strength not to tell the truth but to hide the truth. I went to the store few days later. I told him the actual meaning behind the saying. And then, I gave him the film and I proudly said "Don't you have new Ken Burns documentaries?"
"And he knew like a million quotes"
I believe the 'like' part is only used during informal speech with your friends. You don't use it in essays. A better way to put it would be something like " And he knew a titanic amount of quotes".
"that even the tiniest moment in life"
"I pictured of the affable clerk" (No 'of' is used in such expressions)
"if I had showed my madness"
The rest of the essay is pretty good though.
Check out my essays too, if time permits.
"But he had a particular zeal for this "onion" one and I too liked it although ..."
... one that I too liked, although we both didn't ... ? I'm not sure is thats what you meant
"I really don't know why I told him that because I am not actually a people pleaser ."
i don't think "pleaser" is a word though it makes sense, you might need to rewrite the sentence with out changing the point it makes. may be:- I really don't know why I told him that because I usually don't try to please people.
"Anyway, I quickly discovered..." I think you should leave "anyway" out because it shows not caring and it kind of throws the reader out from the point you are making and from paying attention to what you have been saying.
"I came back to home and thought about this for a moment."
it was a great essay, i loved the intense you had with will he tell him now or not. I like it.
