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The opportunities that Cornell provides to students are phenomenal ; Cornell Eng


jonesguy14 1 / -  
Dec 15, 2012   #1
College of Engineering:
Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by - and linked to - specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish.


The hulking gray mass of metal and wires, barely discernible as a robot, crawls across the playing field towards the green ball. It's going to work this time, I know it. The mechanical beast scoops up the ball effortlessly with our innovative "Shovel-3000" and turns, lining up perfectly with the black hoop. Almost, almost. It creeps forward, the crane-like appendage lifting, straining to reach the opening nearly three feet above, and releases. The ball gracefully enters the hoop, bouncing as it strikes the floor. Success! All our hard work had finally paid off, as we now knew that the State Tournament trophy was ours. I, however, was too exhausted to cheer. My senses were still recovering from the previous night, when I spent hours upon hours pouring over the programming of the robot, ironing out the bugs and glitches we had encountered. I was absolutely drained, but I loved every minute of it.

Engineering, and more specifically programming, has been in my blood for as long as I can remember. I can recall participating in LEGO Robotics in 5th grade, programming video games in middle school, and moving on to VEX Robotics in high school. I love the problem-solving and creativity required to solve the complex problems of engineering and programming. Though my school unfortunately did not offer Computer Science as a course, I still pursued it as a hobby, spending many hours a week learning languages and creating applications. Whether I was programming the artificial intelligence in my latest video game or setting up servers for a website, I did so with a boyish enthusiasm that I haven't felt in other fields.

But programming as a hobby can only take me so far. This is where Cornell Engineering comes into play. Cornell will provide me with the additional knowledge and fantastic experience that will elevate my work from high school amateur to respected professional. The Department of Computer Science, one of the oldest and most prestigious in the country, has some amazing programs and courses that are perfectly suited to my interests. Its research in Artificial Intelligence is very enticing,

and its Game Design Initiative will allow me to take courses, and even minor, in an area that I am acutely passionate about.
The opportunities that Cornell provides to students are phenomenal. Student Project Teams would be an absolute pleasure to participate in, and would remind me of my days on the VEX Robotics Team. I love working in teams to solve a problem, designing and creating a solution that not one of us could do independently. Just reading about the Cornell Mars Rover Team and ACM Programming Team makes me giddy. Also, the Co-op Program will provide me with the real-world experience needed to obtain employment after graduation, and will grant me some advantageous connections. With all these utterly marvelous opportunities offered at Cornell, I know that by graduation, I won't have any problem getting a job. With luck, I'll have four or five to choose from.

Any tips/thoughts?
diebysenioritis 7 / 17 7  
Dec 16, 2012   #2
Success! All our hard work had finally paid off as we now knew that the State Tournament trophy was ours...My senses were still recovering from the previous night when I spent hours upon hours pouring over the programming of the robot, ironing out the bugs and glitches we had encountered.

You just had some unnecessary commas in the beginning. Other than that, the essay was terrific. It's unfortunate that brown nosing pretty much a requirement written in the prompt.

My brother is an aerospace engineer. I've attended lectures given by electrical and computer engineers that work at Qualcom. I even have some other inspiring engineer friends. You write like them. It's weird, but probably a good thing.

Anyway, you should be good to submit soon. It seemed like you had it pretty polished.


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