This is my personal statement #1, please help me make any correction, and make comments about my essay too!!
"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"
The world has shaped my dreams and aspirations. For my life, . my family, friends, and teachers have continuously given me love and support. My mother has always told me, "Go with your dreams, be a kind hearted person, and be dedicated to the society and the world. Then you can be a successful person."
I have lived in a populated city ever since I was born. As a result of always moving from city to city, I have grown to become the type of person who can easily adapt to new living environments. I have the ability to experience the world around me and, interact with people from all around the world, allowing me to become a well- rounded person. Throughout my life, I face countless obstacles and challenges, but with endless support and faith in myself. I learn to overcome my fears and each difficult task.
Both of my parents received limited high school education and, always tell me that they want to continue to study. However, they were not able to pursue more education , due to family financial crises that caused them to work immediately out of high school. They got out of high school and started to find a job to help out their family. They always say, "I wish I had the opportunity you have now." They don't want me to repeat their mistakes. So we immigrated to America in search for a better life and extended education.
Since my parents could not help me much with my schoolwork. They do not have much knowledge with things around them. When I was young, I would always ask them a lot of questions, how come we can hear people talk" or "why do I feel cold?" Many times they are unable to answer my questions, so their common answer to me would always be "magic!", or simply "I don't know". My interest in psychology existed since I was a child although I was unaware of this curiosity. Until I began taking a psychology class in high school. I would carry my psychology textbook with me everyday to read at school to learn more about the things that happen around me on a daily basis but we wouldn't thought of it into deeper details. I would borrow books related to psychology in order to search more, like how people born with disability and what they do to overcome it, or people with super intelligence that could do math in their brain in no time. I wanted to find out more, why people do this, behave like this, or function this way. From environment to behavior; almost everything we do is involved with psychology.
Overall, I am just so blessed I have the opportunity that not much people could have in Hong Kong. Now I have the resources to discover all the answers to the questions I used to ask my parents. I will continue to work hard in my college year. So I would have a good and successful future, and not let my parents down and take a good care of them in return.
In the beginning, you TELL alot. I suggest that you show how you've become a well rounded person or how you faced obstacles. Talk about where you immigrated from since you mentioned that randomly in the middle and then tell us at the end.
I think you do good with tying in you wanting to do psychology with how you were raised. You did not talk too much about only your family.
