"Students consider many different factors when applying to college. Briefly discuss who or what influenced your decision to apply to Boston University. [2000char]"
I shuffled off the T, trying not to run over anyone's toes with my luggage. Embarrassing. I dragged the heavy bag onto the escalator and rode up into the sunlight, seeing Boston for the first time.
We had reserved the first day of our trip for sightseeing. After taking a trolley tour to all the famous historical landmarks and randomly wandering the city, I felt like I belonged there. In one day, Boston had become my favorite city. I've always known that I wanted to go to college in a big city. I love the mindset, the people, the shopping, the music scene. Until this summer's trip, I'd had New York in mind. However, Boston's friendlier and less frantic vibe held more appeal for me.
The next day, the college tours began. Boston University our first stop, and it clicked with me instantly. One of the main attractions was the campus itself, the way it melts right into the rest of the city. I also liked the large size of BU's student body. Visiting the campus was enormously helpful, and I felt the innate realization that I belonged there already. I fell in love with the brownstone housing and lush apartment options. As my tour guide raved about broomball, I had the sudden urge to take part in this sport that I'd never heard of.
I was impressed with the FYSOP program that BU offers. This year, I did community service through my school, working with preschoolers, which was an experience that I loved and learned a lot from. I'm very excited about the opportunity to partake in community service around Boston and meet new students at the same time.
Another aspect of BU that I would love to be part of is the vast social network, offered through professors that have a lot of experience in their respective fields. I also realize that my future would benefit greatly from the job opportunities that are made available to BU students through the student employment office.
I believe BU is a perfect fit for me and sincerely hope I will have the opportunity to contribute to its future.
Any comments are very welcome. Be as harsh as you like, and as specific as possible. Thanks! (:
Oh, and also - I have like, 300 more characters before I hit 2000. Should I add a conclusion of some sort? It feels unfinished but I have no idea how to wrap it up.
Okay, soundclash. If you don't mind me telling the cruel reality of your essay, I'm going to say it.
If I'm the admission officer, your essay wouldn't be accepted. Here's why:
You do not have a strong reason why you want to go to Boston except one, it melts right into the rest of the city.
I don't consider this as an important factor that Boston is unique to you and in fact, I can find you 10 universities that fit into its environment well at a click.
So to me, the point of your essay is not made because I don't see it.
Think of this when you write a why XU is for you: What makes this university accept you as part of it. In other words, why this university should pick you? In what part is the U and you similiar, or can be fit into like a lock and key.
Sorry about the harsh words, but I hope this can be helpful,
Angela629
Thanks...yeah, I'm having a lot of trouble with the "Why __?" essays. I visited, but honestly I don't remember anything about any of them. After visiting 15 colleges in a week, they have all melted together into one jumble of tours and info sessions. After re-reading this, I realize it's blatantly obvious that this is the case. d:
I've been looking at all the pamphlets and the website, and I still don't know what to say.
haha. I have a case of that for colleges I havent visited.
But its really easy to get out of it.
If you have an intended major at the university, name a few great professors at that school you are applying to and if you are going undecided name a few all around in case you get to study with them.
Mention some dorms, as if you know them well.
Mention atheltics, fields.
And name some clubs you might join.
Most importantly "beef up" the school and make it sound like you know it well.
hehe. This may be terrible advice but it has worked for me :)
Honestly, just say what you want with the university.
For example, what they are known for.
If you really don't know, you can check others' essay on them.
My stanford was like I want to be there because I love cultures and stanford, one of the most diversied university in the US, have what i'm looking for.
Say what they want you to say.
Go on the website nd see what they advocate most about, like 'diversity', so some kind of motto like 'knowledge is power', tell them how much you can relate to it nd how you relate to it.
That's all
I'm confused
everything I've ever read always says NOT to say what you think the colleges want you to hear?
Really? They have to at least know you're familiar about what they pride themselves on right?
I dnt know it was just my thoughts
Well, if you are totally not sure what you should write, why don't you look at this website and see what others write?
I think there are a lot of people in this website who are applying to Boston as well, see what they say about in this essay.
This is some very interesting discussion! Yes, it is true that you should not tell them "what they want to hear." They don't want to hear that. Instead of doing that, you have to figure out what they really want to hear. This is what you would call an inexact science! :)
It comes down to a matter of being genuine. You do sound genuine. Consider applying as a psych major and then changing after a semester if necessary. I am pretty sure it will not make a difference! So, you can do that. That is what I did when I went to college -- I was not totally sure, so I declared a major anyway.
If you do that, or even if you do not do that, you can name some special features of BU's psych program as sme of your reasons for wanting to attend. You can appear totally driven and decisive.
Good luck!!! Your writing style is very good for "keeping it real," and you are also very clear & articulate.
This is cool, no need change the structure. and it's much better than the first draft.
However, i do think you need to restate your last paragraph in another way. it sounds a little, i don't know, too straight and direct forward?
and corny.
Thanks for the feedback, though.
Maybe you could add a bit more of the academics BU has to offer so it is not only about the physical atmosphere and environment, but also what BU has to offer you academically.
