If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
There was a time when I felt that, besides engineering, a career in philosophy was a possible path for me because Theory of Knowledge is one of my strongest subjects. I was ambivalent in deciding my future so I looked to my mother for guidance. She spoke of her years working for her family's business even ...
After edits:
At first, I thought my strong attachment to engineering came from my part-time job as a surveyor. I shot elevations and grades for roads and pipes with a level and laid out jobsites with a total station for the work crews to install while learning to read City of Richmond and engineering drawings. It was a great experience to be able to work close to civil engineering but by following commands and procedures all the time, it was difficult to grasp the true purpose of what I was doing. I never felt as though I was contributing to anything. More or less, I followed orders and fulfilled expectations with very little context.
It was Global Perspectives that changed my opinion, and made me truly passionate about engineering. When our teacher showed us the plans for the building we were constructing in Fiji, when I held the drawings in my hand, I knew that I would be doing something noble and worthwhile. I was making a difference on a global scale. I see building that community centre in Fiji as my first stepping stone on the path towards becoming a civil engineer because I learned then that civil engineers worked to continually improve the lives of others, sometimes on a grand scale.
Duke Engineering appeals to me because it offers so many of the features I am looking for. I am primarily attracted to the flexibility and range of courses provided, the Overture design project, and Duke's emphasis on close-knit student-teacher relations. Having been in the Incentive Program at Macneill Secondary, I recognize that the connection between student and teacher is crucial to the intellectual development of the student. I believe that a close student-teacher relationship gives Duke students the confidence and skills to carry out the capstone tasks in Overture Engineering. The Overture project is exactly the kind of work that I envision myself doing in the future. At my part-time job, I have set the same grading and building layouts that Duke students have set, and I am now eager to join them in taking the next step. Having had extensive practical training, I seek to gain a theoretical understanding of engineering and to be able to create plans and designs that reflect my creativity. I feel that high school did not present enough opportunities for me to exhibit my creativity so when I saw that Duke Engineering has an option of a certificate in Architectural Engineering, I was excited to have the opportunity to connect the imagination of an architect and the practical skills of an engineer. Duke Engineering has so many amazing opportunities that I know it is the natural next step for me.
Thanks for the help!
also, i am wondering if i explored my surveying experience deep enough because i think thats the big hook i have
I shot elevations and grades for roads and pipes with a level and laid out jobsites with a total station for the work crews to install while learning to read City of Richmond and engineering drawings ---- this sentence is too long and a bit confusing, consider dividing it with commas or semicolons.
work close to civil engineering ---grammatical error i think. do you mean working close to a civil engineer or was your work similar to a civil engineer's.
your Job experience is a good hook. I think you should consider expanding your second paragraph to focus more on the experience. also consider using more commas in your second paragraph; the long sentences make it slightly difficult to read - but that just my opinion.
If you add more to your second paragraph, I'm sure you'll have a great essay.
I'm also applying to Duke, please check out my essay; it isn't as good as yours, but i think it has an interesting theme.
Hope to see you there.
It was a great experience to be able to work close to civil engineers, but by following commands and procedures all the time, it was difficult to grasp the true purpose of what I was doing.
this sentence is really long. i would split it up into two or reword it a little bit:
I see building that community centre in Fiji as my first stepping stone on the path towards becoming a civil engineer.because I learned then that civil engineers worked to continually improve the lives of others, sometimes on a grand scale.
the last paragraph was really written. good job on a strong ending. (:
thanks for the input!
i'll try to make it seem more like i want to take my learning to the next level at Duke which will minimize the boastfulness
any critiques are greatly appreciated!
