I'll take your comments into consideration thanks for your time!! please help!
Garden Grove - My Home
Orange County is one of the most prosperous and affluent counties in California. Like any county, there are cities that prosper and cities that border the line of middle class. I have spent my life trapped in the middle class city of Garden Grove; located between the cities of Westminster and Santa Ana. Life here is decent but living in Garden Grove is like living in a huge bubble; a close minded and traditional bubble. I feel that at the prime age of seventeen I am now ready to break free from this small bubble and create my own future, dream big, and achieve it.
Living here for the past seventeen years has really taught me a lot about what I don't want in life and ultimately shaped my views and opinions on many things. A majority of the residents in Garden Grove are Asian Americans who have immigrated to the United States for one reason or another. However, the result is all the same; being caught in the middle of an estranged country with a whole new language and culture has only forced these Asian Americans to unyieldingly hold on to the traditional values in which they grew up with; may they be overly conservative and obsolete. The majority of the adults in Garden Grove have not attended college causing them to be out of touch with the pace of lifestyle in which their children and grandchildren are constantly chasing, and more often and not creates an invisible boundary between the generations. But this is my community. This has been my community for the last seventeen years, and although I love the people and culture here, I ultimately want more for myself. My environment and community has played a big role in shaping my views on conformity, culture, and traditions. Despite how familiar and comforting this bubble may be, I want more; more for myself and for my family.
Because I have been in such a close-minded, conformed bubble for so long, I now know what I want to do with my life. My community has given me my aspirations as well as the drive to pursue them. Because of this culturally oriented community, I want to venture off into a new area where Asian Americans are not the norm. Having been so influenced by the traditions of my tight knit community has led me to want to study history and traditions and their effect on humanity. I want to take pride in my culture and ethnicity, but I do not want it to define me and my future. I want to take the knowledge of history and combine it with the ideals of the present and future. I am an Asian American but by no means am i close minded.
Garden Grove has been my home for so long, but now I want to find my own values and experiences. It has shaped me into the individual that I am today and instill in me enough values and confidence to realize that sometimes we all need to take a step outside of our comfort zone and seek for more. From that I know what I want; I want to better myself, I want to be open minded, and I want to be successful. Garden Grove will always be held close to my heart for it has served as the starting domino of this effect of aspirations for a better life and future and a chance to go to college."taught me a lot about what I don't want in life"
i feel like saying that is really strong, especially cuz you do include a lot of positive things that your community and your family gave you like "My community has given me my aspirations as well as the drive to pursue them."
i kinda get why you mentioned orange county, but i think it's a little unnecessary.
"the result is all the same; being caught in"
you should have a dash rather than a semi colon
overall it's a pretty good essay.
