Topic C: There may be personal information that you want to be considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.
Music was my passion. I had always admired professional musicians, and they had inspired me to learn music. However, as I started to study music, I never realized the amount of responsibilities that I needed to keep myself dedicated to it. Nevertheless, my experience in orchestra had helped improved me academically, and personally.
Prior to orchestra, I only had little experience in music. When I was ten, I only took three months of piano lessons. After moving to Texas, I taught myself how to play the guitar. Fortunately, these experiences had polished my observing and listening skills that were necessary to prepare myself to perform in large ensemble.
In comparison to soloist, performing in a large group required more concentration, because there were more instruments that were needed to synchronize perfectly together. It was important for me to listen to the players around me, so I could match my pitch to theirs. In addition, observations were necessary to avoid mistakes during performances. Musicians, like me, often looked up from the music sheet and gave the conductor full attention for any tempo changes, and different bow styles. With these well-established skills, I discovered it was easier for me to focus on my studies. For example, when I was in Chinese, it was greatly important to get the right pitch for each word, and I applied my well-developed listening talent to use. As I listened to my teacher's pronunciation of the word, I perfectly imitated her word. Despite being a nonnative speaker, she was surprised when she heard me correctly pronounced the word. I was proud to have such talent that could be put to use outside of my music class.
As I advanced in levels, I was determined to utilize my talents not only in class, but also in public performances. I made the decision to form a small ensemble for solo and ensemble. I gathered two potentially good players to perform with me. We spent two weeks after school working together to perfectly blend our sounds. Since we had different abilities that we exceled in, we decided to coach each other the talents that we lacked. Although we guided each other during rehearsals, it was also important for each individual to practice on their own to improve those skills. While we were working together, we grew fond of each other, and eventually became friends.
In orchestra, I had learned that everyone was independent, and each individual had his or her own duties to fulfill. In addition, it had left a deep impact in my life. It gave me the opportunity to develop my responsibility as a student, and gave me advantages to excel in my academics. Also, it gave me better social skills, and had my friends list to increase in number on Facebook.
Any criticism, comments, feedback are needed. Thank you in advance. :)
Music was my passion.
You may want to start out your paper with something a bit less cliche.
However, as I started to study music, I never realized the amount of responsibilities that I needed to keep myself dedicated to it.
Here is another way that you could say this: "As I began to study music, I had no idea how much responsibility it took to have steadfast dedication."
Nevertheless, my experience in orchestra had helped improve my academics , and my personal skills .
After moving to Texas, I taught myself how to play the guitar. Fortunately, these experiences had polished my observing and listening skills that were necessary to prepare myself to perform in large ensemble.
This sentence is too long, I think these ideas would sound better by separating them into 2 sentences.
In comparison to soloist, performing in a large group required more concentration, because there were more instruments that were needed to synchronize perfectly together.
You could also say it like this: "Compared to playing solo, performing in a large group required more concentration, because synchronicity is imperative."
