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NOT YOUR ORDINARY TRAVELER (common App)


Jossiemariee 1 / -  
Oct 21, 2013   #1
I am not your ordinary traveler; I travel for different reasons. My journey began last summer, when my family and I were given twenty-four hours to vacate our home. I felt as if my life was crumbling right in front of me. Without any explanation I was told to pack my belongings. As I walked around my house with just a couple of hours left, staring at the empty walls and reminiscing on my childhood memories I was filled with confusion. Even though, some people may say I do not have a home and technically they are right; I feel that my travels have given me more places to call home than most people are able to in a lifetime.

‚ÄčIt feels as if I began my journey traveling to the most beautiful places in the world, but the last few places I have traveled to are none to compare. In my most recent travels I have had to face a few storms. I was filled with even more confusion unable to understand the reasons my family and I had to live in different homes. It was as if the perfect family picture was now shattered into pieces and gone with the wind in different directions. I began to feel anger, sadness and hatred towards my life. I was constantly packing and unpacking my bags. My journey led me to move in with my grandmother, which lived in a city far away from my parents and friends. My grandmother taught me that I had to keep pushing through life and had to be grateful to have the support to get back on my feet again. Living with my grandmother gave me the confidence, happiness and cozy-home feeling that I thought I would never feel again.

‚ÄčAs I continued my journey the weather began to clear up. Along the broken road I traveled to my next home, Patty's house, which happened to be my best friend. Here I learned that even though life was really tough, I had to keep my mind focused on school and sports.

I was told that life was not easy but that was not reason enough to ever give up. The people in my new home encouraged me realize that I was going to be the change I wanted to see. In my new home it felt like the thousands fans cheering on basketball player, LeBron James, as he won the NBA championship. My new home never gave up on me. My home gave me the courage and strength to put my studies first and to continue to work hard towards my dreams.

As I continue my travels through this journey, I am proud to say it feels as if I have conquered climbing the highest mountains and swam the roughest seas. This journey has helped me grow to be more responsible and mature. I have seen the great affect that people have had on me and I want to give back to my community, my home. Through perseverance, positivity and hard work I want to save lives, the same way my journey saved me. I will conquer my dream by assisting those who have gone thought hard times by becoming a Psychiatrist.

pppanta 3 / 9 1  
Oct 22, 2013   #2
I really like your story, but be careful with punctuation.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 23, 2013   #3
I felt as if my life was crumbling down right in front of me.

I feel that my travels have given me more places to call home than most people are able to in a lifetime.

I feel that my travels gave me the opportunity to have many homes in different parts of the world than most other people could do in their lifetime.

Well.... I am a bit confused with your saying "my travels" ... what really did happen? You said you were asked to vacate your home...so were you a refugee? also have you been transfered from place to place? what do you mean by "my travels"?

Better you be a bit more descriptive .... otherwise you leave the reader with so many question marks.


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