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Orient Career, The essay describe the orient career in short-term an in the long-term.


minhchanh 1 / -  
Jun 20, 2016   #1
My name is ..., a fresh graduate from University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City. My major is Foreign Trade; belong to Faculty of International Business. At school, I studied a lot of major subjects related to international trade such as international marketing, export-import management and international business management. By possessing responsibility, enthusiasm and fast-learning plus interest in international business, I would like to take my career path in this field.

Firstly, in short-term, I plan to spend two first years discovering myself and finding out which specific job in international business I'd like to pursue my career goals. As a fresh graduate, I expect to practice and apply practically my academic knowledge that I have learnt from school into my work. Besides, now I have thought of starting my job as an export executive in order to learn more about how to bring Vietnam products to international markets, especially working with consumer goods, household, garment and agricultural products thanks to expected proficiency of upcoming free trade agreement for Vietnam products.

In addition, it's essential to possess good communication skills when doing business with foreign market. Therefore, in this first period, I also make effort to improve my communication and language skills. In recent situation that English is just minimum condition, of course it's always need to be improved frequently and consecutively, I have studied Japanese for over 2 years, with just one more year, I would complete all courses at my Japanese Language Center and hope to use Japanese as fluently as possible. I hope multi language skills will become useful tools to make my work in particular and my career path in general could be smooth and ready.

Next, my mid-term career goals after 5 years working are to become deputy manager of international trade who can manage partly almost activities in international department. To achieve this objective, along with continuing gain more and more experience, I plan to study higher in international business. Because a bachelor's degree is only basic condition to access entry level position. Management knowledge and skills increase exponentially with an MBA, the most popular master degree awarded in business.

In long-term, with valuable knowledge and experience that I have try to collect through about ten-year working or more, I would like to prepare for the role as a international trade manager who has got the key elements of success in business abroad: strong leadership skills, implementation of ethical behavior, expertise in industry and adaptability to evolving technologies; who is able to act with knowledge, elegance and cultural sensitivity to facilitate deals and transactions.

Last but not least, quality is always far more important than quantity. It's possible that in some periods in my career plan that need more time to implement, I will spend time preparing carefully and focusing on making perfect necessary knowledge, experience and skills.

Management Trainee Program at Duy Tan Plastics Corporation would be great opportunity for fresh graduates could build a sustainable career path to become management position in a stable and profitable Vietnam company that has plan to expand its products in foreign market. By this way, it seems to get fit well with my career interest. I really appreciate this opportunity and will try my all best to get it.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jun 20, 2016   #2
Hi minh, I would like to point out some of your weaknesses in order to strengthen your essay later on in the next draft. Thus, the detailed descriptions below are my feedback concerning the whole essay. I hope you can follow through the feedback given.

- In this forum, do not forget to give at least 1 space (1 enter) for each paragraph. It will ease us in reading and checking your essay carefully.

- You've mentioned some contraction words in this essay, for instance, "I'd like to", "it's essential". You need to avoid using contraction(s) like these. These contraction(s) can make your essay looks less formal.

- If the prompt is about short-term and long-term, it is unnecessary to mention "mid-term". There are two possibilities of mentioning "mid-term". First, it is an additional information (positive), and Second, you were failed to answer the prompt properly (negative). It is better to play safe and never mention anything about mid-term career plan because the question or the prompt never asks you to do that. Your essay can possibly be graded as an off-topic essay due to this issue.

As you can see Minh, there are also still some grammatical flaws in this essay but it will be too long to be described here. I am waiting for your revision first, so I can see the difference between the first draft and the second one. Overall, the flow of ideas is actually quite clear and understandable. Good luck for composing the next draft. :)
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 20, 2016   #3
Hi Minh, first of all in your title, it should be written;

- Orient Career, TheThis essay describesthe orient career inmy short-term an in the long-term career goals .

You see, from this title alone, there's a lot of modification to be done, I have no doubt that you know what you want to write, it's just somehow, you are not able to express this properly in your sentences.

To help you further, please find additional modifications below;

- My major is Foreign Trade;( this punctuation mark is not necessary )
- belonging to the Faculty of International Business.
- At school, I studied a lot of major subjects related
- By possessing responsibilityI am responsible, enthusiastic and a fast learner ,
- enthusiasm and fast-learning plusmy interest in international business
- is the path I want to pursue. ,
- I would like to take my career path in this field.( this phrase is not necessary )

There you have it Minh, I hope my initial remarks helped in the enhancement of your essay. As mentioned, I believe you have the idea in your head and somehow, practice will be your best weapon, also, you need to review on the language rules in order to come up with a stronger essay.

I will get back to you for the succeeding paragraphs.


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