Hi :)
This is the second part of my Beloit college supplement.
Words limit is 400 characters, and it's 650 right now --- I gotta cut 250 words!
I wonder if I can answer the question well :( How can I fix it to make it better ??
Any comments/suggestions/criticisms are welcome !!!
Thank you :) :)
How did you originally learn about Beloit? What or who has been the most valuable search engine, book, tool, or person you have used in your college search and why?
As a Japanese students, the only available tool for my college search was the Internet sources - I checked lots of site like college board, unigo, or the princeton review. Though I deleted nearly 200 colleges from my list, Beloit have never moved its position. One day, searched its name on the website. To my surprise, there were some blogs by Japanese exchange students who reported their real life at Beloit college. That was the first time when Beloit grabbed my heart. Reading all of their detailed journal about their lots of delights and struggles at Beloit, I learned how they are welcomed by its international community. Their honest opinions and all the reviews about Beloit including complains and compliment, made me feel confident that Beloit is the best place for me.
Fixed some grammatical errors and took out unnecessary things. Please read my UChicago essay as well, it is due to day!!! Thanks :)
As a Japanese students , the only available tool for my college research was the Internet. I checked many sites like Collegeboard , Unigo, and the Princeton Review . Though I deleted nearly 200 colleges from my list, Beloit have never moved its position. One day, I searched its name on the website. To my surprise, there were some blogs by Japanese exchange students who reported their real life at Beloit college. That was the first time when Beloit grabbed my heart. Reading all of their detailed journals about their lots of delights and struggles at Beloit, I learned how they were welcomed by its international community. Their honest opinions and all the reviews about Beloit including complains and compliment, made me feel confident that Beloit is the best place for me.
Hi abatado!!!
Thanks so much for your checking! :)
Because you kindly cut some part, it's 445 now! thx :)
So sorry that I couldn't check yours in time, I wrote this thread before I went to bed, and now I woke up and saw your comment and your thread, but it has been closed already X( sorry!
Your essay was quite unique, I felt ^^ good luck !!!
Any other comments ????
Please everyone! I gotta finish it tomorrow >< I'd appreciate any suggestions or criticisms !
Thank you :)
Hey hey~~
Came to check it :) You must think I'm such a himajin (not really, I'm just escaping from reality).
I see abatado kindly edited some already, so I'll just add my editing to that:
Good luck with the rest of the apps! Thanks, I'll help out anytime^^ and don't worry about your English, 'cause you have a great writing style! By the way, just curious, are you taking the center test? I have to take it...part of the deal with my teacher (sigh)
Oh yeah, sorry x(
I completely overlooked the prompt! Yeah, just write about "why Beloit" in the third supplement. So I think what you have now answers the prompt fine. 11 over the limit eh...how about change this sentence:
Reading all about their delights and struggles at Beloit, I learned how they were welcomed by its international community.
to
Reading all about their delights and struggles at Beloit, I learned how welcoming the international community was.I think that should make it under 400 characters...try paste it into the text box.
aaw, I envy you! Yup, taking the exam tomorrow, but you know...maybe it will be a disaster. lol. Oh well, I gotta hold up my end of the bargain, so I'll do my best and have fun! Thnx :)
Not sure if I can help you anymore until the center ends, but I think you'll be fine!! But yeah, just remember to write in your own voice :)
