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"outstanding curriculum, diversity, English Literature" - Why Swarthmore?


Moe_S 1 / -  
Dec 17, 2010   #1
Why Swarthmore?
Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.


While I was an exchange student in Ohio, I became really interested in getting my collegial studies in the United States. To do so, I had had to look for the right college and the right path to follow. Discussions I made with my counselor at school, and my host family at home made me really consider Swarthmore College. Further research on the internet, I have learned about different traits of Swarthmore College, which appealed to me for its academics, student body, and social life.

Swarthmore College is distinctive for its outstanding curriculum. Its strong English department will give me the opportunity to take a diverse group of courses that will help me in broadening my insight and imagination, and with the help of the highly qualified and caring professors at Swarthmore I will be able to succeed in my field of study.

Besides to its curriculum, Swarthmore College is unique for its diverse student body; students from all over the globe, different backgrounds, beliefs, and cultures; Swarthmore has the diversity I am looking for. By being part of that student body, I will be able to enrich it with my own culture and views. Further, I will have the opportunity to exchange my views and opinions with intellectual students who are willing to learn and increase their knowledge, while it will help me to gain more knowledge and have a better understanding about the world around me.

Considering my future major in English Literature and my future ambitions in improving education in my home country, I hope to take part in the Lang Center for Civic and Social Responsibility. For I believe that it will prepare me well in civil engagement, public services, and social action; Skills that will help me greatly in my life. Moreover, the students-focused system, and the relatively small student body make it easier for me to collaborate with the faculty and students, while giving a sense of community through programs such as "Learning for life" that I hope to participate in. Finally, with that said, I believe that Swarthmore College is a great match for me, for it will provide me with the right path to follow in order to become a good human being with a successful career and social life.

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Please let me know what you think!!
Any pieces of advice will be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks!
englishwithmrj 2 / 3  
Dec 18, 2010   #2
I think your essay is a very decent, but it lacks a focus. perhaps take off a few points and expand on the rest.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
Let's change this semi-colon to a dash and remove the capital letter:
For I believe that it will prepare me well in civil engagement, public services, and social action -- skills that will help me greatly in my life.

This essay could be written about almost any college. You wrote it in a really nice way, but I want to point out that it does not show whether you have a strong intention or plan for the future. Ideally, it would be great if you wrote this in a way that showed the reader that you have several carefully chosen goals because of a strong desire to enter a particular field, and that Swarthmore has resources that can BETTER help you to achieve your goals than resources at other schools.

So I suggest revising the essay so that it shows what makes you different from other students and what makes Swarthmore different from other schools.

:-)


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