Prompt: A typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?
I am an overachiever. If I am given an opportunity to challenge my full potential, I will always take an advantage of it even if I fail sometimes. Johns Hopkins provides infinite opportunities for students to challenge themselves academically as well as enjoy their lives outside of classroom. As an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins, I would like to partake in music programs. I have developed my love and passion for music throughout my life because music is a way of expressing myself without speaking or writing a language. As I researched on different music clubs and organizations at Johns Hopkins, I found my interest in joining the Choral Society, Gospel Choir, and Hopkins Symphony Orchestra. I also plan to participate in the Greek life. I have heard that the Greek life represents the real college experience, which initiated my curiosity and interest. The Alpha Kappa Delta Phi and the Alpha Epsilon Delta interest me the most. I belong in Asian American culture, and I want to contribute my perspective that I gained from my own experience. Also, I have a passion to be a pre-med student, in which the Alpha Epsilon Delta would provide me a connection to other pre-med students. I would love to join the cheerleading team because I have always dreamed myself cheering on the sideline during football and basketball games. Lastly, I plan on volunteering at a local hospital or a private clinic to further keep myself in the medical atmosphere, which I truly enjoy. From listing all the activities I would like to participate at Johns Hopkins, I can just imagine myself immersing in diverse activities and living a very pleasant college life with excitement.
Please edit my essay.. Any grammar error? Also, I have 282 words, but the word limit is 250.:( I would appreciate your help very much.
While the essay clearly shows your interests in the various activities, you need to make it a bit more interesting to keep the reader gripped. I have edited a few things in your essay which might bring down your word count a bit. :D
Good Job! :D
(Also, please help me out with my essay lol :P )
