PROMPT: Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?[/b][/i]
"When I keep quiet, stigma wins and, I can't let that happen" -Edwin.
I was 14 years old when diagnosed with depression. Depression, a stigmatized topic; I believe the problem itself doesn't but, the struggle and success of defeating depression for three years now truly defines me.
Speaking about my experience with depression, came the insecurities regarding my parent's faith in me. Fortunately, I did not let my grades degrade but the feeling of emptiness never left. I developed a certain irritation in interacting with people and used to get agitated because I was vexed with myself for such actions. As my comparatively degrading grades and change in my character from cheerful to gloomy was noticed by both my parents and school authorities, I was scheduled to attend a child psychologist at my school. I remember one fine morning he said to me," Remember Erina, there's always a reason for all of your feelings, if you focus on the cause, you will undoubtedly find the solution."
Since that day, I have developed a certain insight and wisdom on tackling problems, that not only helped me resolve them but also make sure to untangle myself from complications by eliminating its cause.
'Painted Birds' by Fiona Bullen, not particularly the book to fight against depression; however, the book has made a tremendous impact on helping me gain my courage back. I am moved by the act of heroism portrayed by the protagonist and how she fought until the very end with remarkable bravery.
I have learned not to panic when there's a problem but find out the cause to understand the problem because not knowing the 'why' and 'what' of a problem can drive people crazy. I have made mistakes and faced its consequences; I am well aware that I have victimized myself in many situations where I needed to be brave, regardless of them all, I am proud of myself today and I am very confident sharing my experience of depression as I am not victimizing myself anymore. I have learned, to face my lows and fill them with the warmth of strength, courage, and optimism. As in this moment of life, I contend with myself.
The complexity, delicacy, and importance of psychological assistance to a suffering individual in every aspect of life fascinates me. Successfully overcoming my depression gave me a sense of hope, I know I am capable of dedicating myself to the strong will in pursuing my career in psychology and potentially make a difference in someone else's life. I am very optimistic about fulfilling my potential.
I am a firm believer in psychotherapy, especially when it comes to adolescents. I believe that focusing on the cause is a better way to fight against depression rather than using medicine to exert an effect on the chemical makeup and neurological system. Supporting Goffman, Deleuze, and Rosen, I too believe that medication is just a concoction. I believe in analysis, validation, and vanquishing of the issue in such a manner that, the individual himself develops the skill to navigate through his troubles at any given time in the future too. The substantial lack of understanding of psychological, social, and neurological pathways involved in the development of depression in adolescents has driven me to study psychology and raise awareness in Nepal.
I have come to learn the difference between hearing and listening. Thus, I don't simply want to hear what people have to say; I want to listen to them, I want to understand them, and if possible, I want to help them. Facilitate them with the sacred ground where they can be themselves and not feel judged.