USC's speaker series What Matters to Me and Why asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.
Most people view perfectionism with a positive connotation; calling someone a perfectionist is a compliment as it demonstrates their concern for quality and achievement. What people commonly overlook are the negative undertones of perfectionism. In this essay, I will show you my experiences of being a perfectionist and how I have learnt that the most important thing in life is to be pragmatic and aware of our limits.
Unless I achieved perfection, I was never satisfied with myself. I was never content with myself unless I outdid the best students. I could put hours of study into an exam and not get full mark. This idealistic view of the world was highly detrimental to my peace of mind but at the time I was completely oblivious towards it. After all, the side effects of perfectionism are sneaky little creatures; it was not as though I was overwhelmed with grief after receiving bad grades. Rather, it was a more subtle but persistent dissatisfaction with my achievements that took permanent residence in my mind.
I only realized this problem in me when I had a talk with my chemistry teacher a few months ago, who saw right through me. He mimicked my perfectionism almost mockingly, pretending to be an obsessive compulsive, arranging his photo frame frantically into an "appropriate" position. He told me of his challenges with perfectionism as a youngster, and his eventual epiphany that freed him from the thrall of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is counterproductive and is not conducive to learning. We all have limits and it's silly to ignore them. When we try hard enough, we can reach this limit. The difference between a normal person and a perfectionist is that a perfectionist refuses to accept his/her innate limit; a perfectionist denies these limits and strives harder. However, this extra effort does not pay off since the perfectionist begins to sacrifice physical, social and mental health, in exchange for a negligible and disproportionally small improvement in academics. In order to achieve a slightly better grade, I lost sleep, rejected almost all of my family and friends' invitations to go out and most significantly, my self-esteem.
As students who aim to be productive members of a community like that at USC, we have to acknowledge the balance that must be achieved between academic achievement and health. Sure, you can stay holed up in your dormitory like a hermit, studying nine-to-five to achieve the best grade you can, why not? But how would that benefit USC's vibrant community? We have to be more selfless and consider our physical, mental and social health. Only then can we efficiently contribute to USC's campus. What good can a valedictorian student do if he or she is too depressed and introverted to be proactive in the community?
You know, I could keep re-drafting and re-drafting this essay and be the perfectionist I used to be, staring at the page in doubt for days. But I've changed. I've grown. Although it has taken many months, I have learned, through this quest called high school and through advice from my chemistry teacher that my unrealistic expectations of perfection which I had embraced since middle school were in fact not worth shooting for.
Any help is appreciated! I'm going for that Dec 1st deadline by the way!
Ha ha, still being a perfectionist! :-)
I agree with the chem teacher. If someone is too concerned with getting something perfect, it's like getting too caught up in a dream and thinking it is real.
Hey, instead of saying "an obsessive compulsive," you should say, "a person stricken with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder."
Well... as I get to the end, I think... it is not that perfection is not worth shooting for... it's just that we need to prioritize. If you are too interested in making something perfect, you cannot attend to timing, and timing is often more important than anything.
I think it would be good to talk about what this realization means for your career. In the grand scheme of your career, it is good to be a perfectionist... aim for big picture perfection, even if it means you have to cut small picture corners.
:-)
