fighting my shyness
It's interesting how we tend to hide ourselves in the face of other people. When I was ten years old, I hid in my grandfather's closet because I was too shy to face the guests who were visiting. I feared having to talk to them and I feared the cheek pinching. It was only after when the guests have left, I would return to my normal self.
I've been shy for as long as I can remember. In elementary school, I only spoke when I was asked to. I had a hard time making new friends because I rarely ever started conversations with the nice kids and I never stood up to the school bully. I signed up for afterschool activities which my parents told me were a great way to make new friends. But a kid shy as I was could fade into the background, unnoticed. Up until the 8th grade, no one saw me as me: A kid who was very caring, organized, and loved playing sports. I was angry, and I was tired. Being shy was mentally and physically exhausting, and I was finally sick of it. All I wanted was to fit in better.
When I entered high school, I decided to work on becoming more outgoing. I wanted people to see beyond just "the quiet boy." Every day I tried my new attitude by smiling and saying "hi" to other students. During my freshmen year, I finally build up enough confidence to join the football team. At first, my behavior did not change. Occasionally, I would forget the plays the coach had called and was too shy to ask my teammates for help. But, I continued to work on my new attitude and tried to overcome my shyness because I didn't tolerate failure. Halfway through the season, the coaches named me a starter on the defense. They told me they liked my leadership and work ethic. I remember this event because it was the first major step in conquering my shyness.
Since then, I've had many other moments where I overcame my timidity. From my freshmen year on, I started taking my own initiatives. I gained the confidence to go out and do things for myself. I joined the Spanish and Asian club because of my curiosity for a new culture. I also volunteered at Green Acres Foundation where I help protect water resources by collecting and transporting water samples to a Greenacres River Lab. Through this community project, I learned a lot about water resource issues. This change of attitude benefited me not only for my school career, but also from the first impressions I make on new friends. I realized the excitement of making new things happen. As my eyes were opened to the benefits of my new attitude, I gained self confidence and an ambition that has defined who I am.
I'll admit that being constantly outgoing isn't who I am. There are some instances where I don't feel like being talkative. I will never show off or be impolite. Who I was never changed. But the difference is that now I can show something more sincere to the world, because shyness no longer controls me. My personality and character won't fit inside the confines of shyness. Nor will they fit inside a closet.this is written very well. i think the "non-shy" wording is a little awkward. are there any other ways to rephrase it?
also maybe add more to how your shyness and overcoming it benefits you. your whole essay talks about how you were shy.. and your last paragraph explains how you overcame it. however, your last paragraph is very short. i like the concluding sentence, but maybe add more to the body of that paragraph.
But a kid as shy as I was could fade into the background, unnoticed.
The story about football is excellent. Your descriptions of introspection are also excellent. This essay is refreshingly genuine and sincere.
Every one of your paragraphs ends with an excellent sentence!
My personality and character won't fit inside the confines of shyness. Nor will they fit inside a closet.---- This is great, but let's make a better connection to the introduction:
first paragraph:
It was only after when the guests have left, I would return to my normal self. As I grew older, I kept parts of my personality hidden in that closet, unable to be myself in social situations.
last paragraph:
My personality and character won't fit inside the confines of shyness, and they won't fit inside my grandfather's closet.
