Page 217 of diary ;U Penn; Why penn?

prompt: A Penn education provides a liberal arts and sciences foundation across multiple disciplines with a practical emphasis in one of four undergraduate schools: the College of Arts and Sciences, the School of Engineering and Applied Science, the School of Nursing, or the Wharton School.

Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)

please review this essay for any grammatical mistakes, cliches, mundane statements and the language. does it appear interesting ? any help will be appreciated.

Striding through the corridors of Wharton school, my forehead was dripping with sweat and my body was exhilarated. I was just thinking about how difficult it is to allocate funds for projects in corporations (as taught in today's Management class) when suddenly, I ran into a fellow student I met in Management & Technology Club. Though I am running late, we had a small chat about implications of new Apple policy on launching IPhone 6. With the words said, I am again off to study Artificial Intelligence at School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. That day, The Professor completed the class early, leaving me with time to discuss with him my latest geeky idea relating to Machine Learning in analyzing Stock Market structure. Sitting for two hours in his office and finalizing the project, at last I am free from my day's classes. But I am still overflowing with energy, so I decided to go again, to attend Dining Philosophers labs and register myself for the upcoming PennApps. Today's session was awesome, we created a really intuitive option in PennStudySpaces project. Overjoyed by our success, a small group of us friends head off to get ourselves a quick snack at nearby restaurant and come back for some more creativity. As the day was coming to end, I found myself standing before Office of International Program, to plan and get advice on Study Abroad for my next semester. I coordinated my schedules at both Wharton school and School of Engineering and I was done for the day. So sitting in my room at 10 in night, I am writing this page 217 of my diary and feeling the same enthusiasm that I have been feeling for the last two years at Penn.

"I was just thinking about how difficult it is to allocate funds for projects in corporations."
Though I amwas running late, we had a small chat about implications of new Apple policy on launching IPhone 6.
"With the words saidAfter that/Later on , I am again was off to study Artificial Intelligence at School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. "

"Sitting for two hours in his office and finalizingto finalize the project, at last I am was free from my day's classes." how does sitting in his office for 2 hours free you from classes? Rewrite this sentence.

I don't have time now. Gotta go. Good luck!

thanks for the review

I really like the essay! I'm assuming you're applying to M&T? As the above poster stated, the only problem you have is with some of the verb tenses, but those are easily correctable. Also, I like that you mentioned the page 217, it definitely shows you are familiar with and interested in Penn

thanks . i will definitely correct those mistakes.

change to : ..."thinking about the difficulty of allocating funds for projects in corporations"



Good Luck! And please help with mine ;)