1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
I never imagined myself as I writer. I knew I loved to write, but actually being a writer did not seem possible. That was, until I joined journalism my sophomore year of high school, after my first year I knew I had found my future, which began my search for the perfect school for me to pursue my passion. Through my search, I discovered Syracuse. The more research on Syracuse I did the more I knew I belonged there. I feel in love with the school and began to dream of myself wearing a bright orange sweatshirt. I have always pushed myself to be the best and dedicate myself one hundred percent to everything I am involved in. At Syracuse, I know I will be able to, not only, accomplish the goals I have set for myself, but also realize unearthed aspirations.
2. If you have had paid work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?
When I was asked to teach adaptive swim lessons, I had no idea what I was walking into. I walked outside to the pool deck to see eight special needs children, eager to get into the water, and their anxious parents sitting by their sides. Adaptive swim lessons are true to their name, they taught me how to adapt and how to prepare for the unexpected. Teaching special needs children showed me a new side to the world and allowed me to connect with new people on a more personal level and see them not as special needs children, but simply as, children. Adaptive swim lessons strengthened by ability to handle new, and, at time, chaotic situations, with confidence and certainty.
Ifell in love with the school and began to dream of myself wearing a bright orange sweatshirt.
how does the bright orange sweatshirt related to the school? Is it the school's color? ( just a side question)
"I knew I loved to write, but actually being a writer did not seem possible."
The phrasing of the sentence sounds awkward. You can say something like "I knew I loved to write, but the aspect of becoming a writer seemed far away and impossible"
That mindset stayed with me until I joined journalism my sophomore year of high school.A fter my first year in journalism I knew I have found a loop hole.This led me to began the search for the perfect school for me to pursue my passion (this part sounds awkward and redundant, it would be best to revise it. ).
That was, until I joined journalism my sophomore year of high school.After my first year I knew I had found my future which began my search for the perfect school for me to pursue my passion.
---Comma splice, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period or semi-colon.
The more research on Syracuse I did the more I knew I belonged there.
-----What exactly did you learn about Syracuse that makes you a perfect match for the school?
At Syracuse, I know I will be able to, not only, accomplish the goals I have set for myself, but also realize unearthed aspirations.
----Needs to be revised a little. There are some unnecessary commas. Read this out loud and remember that you can't write like you speak.
I think in the first essay,
you should relate your passion for journalism
and Syracuse University more.
i felt like you were
jumping ahead from talking about your high school journalism (which is good though.. becuz this is what motivated you.)
to saying that you can imagine yourself as being a Syracuse student..
To make this a better essay,
you can include one of the writing progrmas of Syracuse
that you are particularly interested in.
i hope this helped. good luck! ;]
I finished the last one.. any thoughts?
thanks so much for your help to the people above!!
3. Our mission of Scholarship in Action extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your academic interests, tell us what real world experiences you might pursue during your education at Syracuse University as part of this mission.
I have always seen the importance of giving back. I believe everyone faces hardships in life and if I, in some way can lessen the burden, I should. I will maintain this viewpoint and will continue to be an engaged member of society during my time at Syracuse and after. During my time at Syracuse, I could combine my love of writing with being an active member of the community by forming an after school program where I would tutor under privileged students. This action will fundamentally help the youth of Syracuse academically and help their formation into engaged and informed members of society. After my time at Syracuse, I hope to write for a magazine or newspaper and travel America writing stories on adversities people are facing right here at home. I believe that the majority of media focuses on difficulties abroad and if I could help expose local and national privations I would be helping lessen the burden on the my fellow members of society.
