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"just do not panic, go and take what you deserved" - MIT: most significant challenge you've faced.

ironhand 6 / 18  
Aug 21, 2014   #1
Hello everyone. Please, help me to improve this essay: after editing it still looks slightly vague, especially at the beginning. Help me, and I will help you if you want to improve your essays.

"I am absolutely confident that you are able to win gold medals, just do not panic. Go and take what you deserved" - These were the last words my mentor said to my team before we left to face our most formidable challenge yet, the 46th International Chemistry Olympiad. Even though I have already participated in the previous year's event, I have to admit that I had never been so worried. Success or failure, the opportunity to achieve my dream or the necessity to yield it to someone more successful - everything depended on the decisions I had to make then and there. But one thing in particular gave me hope. Before our phones were taken away from us, I had checked my emails and saw something I had never seen before - it was a list of letters from the people who had helped me with my preparations. I understood at that moment that I was not completely on my own; there were people who believed in me, and to yield would mean betraying them all. I could not let this to happen, and I did not. I learned there not just that the weak give up and the strong persevere; I had learned that before, or else I would never have won gold at all. I learned that perseverance does more than separate success from failure, it can create a way to victory where none before was possible. I have to remember this, because there will be greater challenges in my life.

Steezed12 2 / 4  
Aug 21, 2014   #2
I thought this was really well-written. However, is this really the most significant challenge you faced? Colleges like students that overcame adversity. Not saying this isn't a good essay, it just doesn't have that "challenge feel".
kabylda - / 2  
Aug 21, 2014   #3
Sorry for my mistakes(I`m not a native speaker,but anyway).Your essay is really well-written. In my opinion it surely has "challenge feel". You took gold on IChO,it requires a lot of effort, I mean, what bigger challenge could a student face? Good luck. Hope you will be admitted. But I have some questions. Do you have a facebook or vk account? Mine is Adil Kabylda (Kazakhstan team, hope you remember me).
Steezed12 2 / 4  
Aug 21, 2014   #4
Don't get me wrong, like I said it's very well-written. But the prompt says "most significant". I'm just saying you should think about it more
OP ironhand 6 / 18  
Aug 24, 2014   #5
Hi. Thanks for your feedbacks. Adil, I think it would be better if I could communicate with you by email; please, post yours in this thread.
kabylda - / 2  
Aug 25, 2014   #6
Just have some questions about MIT.

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