Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Culture is life. Culture forms people into individuals. Culture is embraced, but also at times scorned. At one point of my young life, I felt ashamed of my Filipino culture. I felt alone, a sort of black sheep. This happened from a complete juxtaposition of moving from my Filipino-based hometown of Panorama City to the Caucasian dominated town of Santa Clarita at the immature age of eight.
Panorama City, through my eyes, is a Filipino Mecca. This city formed my introductory thoughts of the world I had been born into: centered on family, God, and happiness. Lively family gatherings were common, as we all lived blocks apart. Extended family was abundant as well. I knew everyone who worked at the Filipino seafood market, and they knew me. The teachings of God and the Tagalog language were engrained into my developing mind since I attended a predominately Filipino private school. I was spoiled, but I wasn't the only one since most Filipino children are the pride and joy of their parents. My parents came to the United States with three hundred dollars in hand. Their objective: to grant me opportunity. I was the lone reason (my sister later included) my parents fought to achieve the American Dream. And through the struggles, I was blessed with a wonderful childhood in Panorama City thanks to the close-knit Filipino environment, my collective Filipino friends, the warmth of my Filipino family, and my feeling of gratification as a poised Filipino living in a Filipino habitat. It was my Utopia.
After a deadly incident directly in front of our house, we relocated to the Santa Clarita Valley. My parents always had my sister and I in mind, hence the quick decision of transferring to a city with less crime. I was shell shocked, knowing I would be abandoning friends, family, and life, as I knew it. Subsequently, I would also be discontinuing my development within my Filipino culture. The Santa Clarita Valley appeared to me as a single cultured valley, with the white American culture commanding a majority. The nucleus was the town center mall, and it's cell membrane - platoons of indistinguishable houses. Importance of friends had replaced the importance of family. Within my circle of friends, a distinct margin was atheist. For the first time, I was embarrassed and discomforted of my culture because I shared it with nobody. I was a minority. College of the Canyons was the scholastic summation for the youth. Their expectation was the plastic family life. At first, I acknowledged and adapted, but the mediocrity of this dull city had me desiring change. I was inevitably "white-washed". Luckily, I grew in appreciation for my culture as I felt a need to characterize myself from this city of clones. As I matured, my well-being was solidified through uniqueness as an individual and not the feeling of commonality I once shared with the habitants of Panorama City.
I am blessed to possess something that is foreign to a majority of people and communal with a minority of people. Though this journey of embracing the Filipino culture, assimilating to the white American culture, and reaffirming my passion for my original culture frolicked with my mind, I have matured for the best. God has a plan for us all, and this happens to be his blueprint to mine. That's the Filipino in me talking.
Good evening :)
Mechanically, make sure that you aren't using contractions in formal academic writing; for example, "it's" should be "it is." Also, make sure when you use quotation marks that your punctuation is inside of them. For instance, "white-washed". should be "white-washed."
In regards to content, I don't see where you explain how this move shaped your dreams and goals. Make sure you fully answer the prompt; acknowledge all facets of it in your essay.
Regards,
Gloria
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