Paramedical Experience -- Common App Essay

Topic of my own choice.

I sprinted up the field towards the goal, ball at my feet. Looking up, I find my teammate in an open space. I visualized the pass and sent the ball rolling to a perfect position for a shot. My mind freezes in horror as I watched an opponent slide tackle my teammate, his face contorted with pain. Time seemed to slow down as I heard his screams of agony. I ran over, clueless and scared as I stared grimly at his deformed ankle. I stood there, my heart pounding loudly in my head, desperately trying to think of a way to help. In my horror, my insignificance and lack of ability seemed to magnify itself in my head.

The shocking incident motivated me to begin the process of becoming certified in first aid. I began with basic first aid training, where I learnt basic skills like how to treat a laceration. Hoping to further improve my knowledge, I took more advanced courses, and self-studied courses which are not offered locally, such as the Basic Emergency Medical Technician course, learning more advanced procedures such as airway management and spinal stabilization. These courses have prepared me to stay calm in the face of emergencies in order to provide help, and as they were challenging I have also learnt the importance of commitment and perseverance.

This commitment was evident in many areas of my life such as sports and community involvement. I realized that in order to better myself, I must not only strive to achieve personal goals, but also to extend my skills and knowledge through practice and perseverance. I encountered difficulties, but instead of being discouraged or giving up, I am encouraged to try even harder to excel at my activity. It was this fascination and dedication that allowed me to complete the courses, and become a member of the medical team at an internationally recognized rugby tournament such as the IRB: Rugby Sevens World Cup 2009.

Years later, a more experienced me watched from the sidelines of the Rugby World Cup Sevens 2009 Asian Qualifiers. The Singaporean and Sri Lankan national teams are engaged in a fearsome battle. Knowing that injuries most commonly happen during scrums, I felt increasingly nervous as I watched the players in red and green plough into each other.

My mind froze in horror as I watched a defender tackle a red player from behind. The whistle blew. It was an illegal high tackle. Familiar feelings of shock rushed back as I saw the player lie on the ground, motionless. Suppressing my panic, I ran onto the field with the medical team. Fortunately, she was conscious but complained of numbness in the arms. My mind raced through all the information that I have acquired: possible spinal injury, my superiors confirmed this. I knew we had to transport her to the hospital immediately but placing her onto the spinal board was no easy task. I was put in charge of stabilizing her neck, thankful that I had self-learnt the technique but terrified of this sudden immense responsibility I had taken up; a simple twitch of my hands could cause a lifelong paralysis. Calmly reassuring her, I kept her head level while another medic slipped a neck brace on, after what seemed like hours, he clicked it into place. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I examined the Singaporean player who was now strapped onto the hard, yellow spinal board. The player looked at me smiled and whispered "Thank you." At that moment, I reflected upon all that I had learned and achieved since my friend broke his ankle. I realized the significance of the cause I have committed myself to: the ability to impact another life positively. I felt accomplished and satisfied. The challenges and difficulties I had encountered in the course had indeed thoroughly prepared me for this experience. The last ten minutes seemed to magnify in my head, all the hard work I had put into the expansion of my medical knowledge seemed worthwhile, the exhilaration and adrenaline driving me towards this closing, a combination of self-success and self-gratification. These ten short minutes in my life, crucial to both the player and myself; every second was a small battle between my excitement and my knowledge.

Thanks for your time.

Your essay is really interesting and I really like it. Especially the last paragraph!

This reminds me of a quoted: Success is also measured by how many lives you have touched!


I think you should add something there like: with the ball at my foot.

A more experienced me sounds awkward. Do come up with something else!


, I am now more careful with committing. Once I am committed to an activity...

Good Luck

Please do return the favor by reading my essay:

I really like your essay structure and introduction esp. The intro is intense and grabs your attention immediately and you can see the "exhilaration and adrenaline" that you say. The conclusion is excellent as well because you take us back into action. It flows really well. It is also original in the subject matter because when reading essays about rugby, you would see a lot about a player's POV rather than a medic's. One minor thing that I would add is:

"A healthy obsession, perhaps?"
Don't question it, be confident and state that's it's a healthy obsession.

Can you take a look at my personal essay?

I liked your essay. One thing that stuck out was the use of "horror". You have the phrase "mind freeze/froze in horror" twice, and use horror twice in the first paragraph. I feel you should try to find another word/phrase, but that's just my opinion.