Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
The noxious fumes of the screen wash and ink crept up the stairs and piqued my nose as it slithered to pester my younger sister in the bunk above mine. It pained me to know that my parents were working in the wee hours of the night in our mosquito infested garage just to earn a measly thirteen cents for every logo they printed. As a fourteen year old this was a rough time in my life. My parents were laid off from their jobs and began to operate a silk screening business from our garage. The work was definitely more strenuous than their previous job and for not nearly enough money. Hearing my exhausted parents come up the stairs after a long night slaving away in the garage made me wish there was something I could do to help them.
Growing up with both my parents operating a small business put tremendous pressure on me. At a young age, I took charge to aid their business as it transitioned from our garage to a small warehouse. Since neither of them spoke English fluently enough to establish a business deal and I was the oldest in the family, I became the negotiator, trying to seal the most profitable deal for them. Then I was inadvertently appointed as secretary, accountant, and even laborer. I saw the laundry list of burdens and responsibilities as a tedious chore that took away from my studies and social life. While most students relaxed on the weekends, to me it was barely the beginning of my work week. My weekends were composed of miscellaneous tasks ranging from creating invoices to emailing clients with our latest price adjustments all while keeping current on my school work in all of my AP classes. I constantly felt overwhelmed by the endless list of tasks waiting for me to complete but I remained dedicated to my assignments. I kept my focus and complete each task one at a time.
That year, I joined my school's Future Business Leaders of America Chapter. At the meeting I looked at the list of competition topics and decided to take the quiz on accounting. During the quiz, I thought back to those nights I spent imputing the data from the purchase orders into Excel. I visualized each column, their meaning and their relationship to each other. I filled in the bubbles effortlessly. I never thought those late nights on Excel would ever cause me anything more than a headache. The quiz was over, I scored the highest among my peers and I knew what topic I wanted to compete in.
After a while, I got used to this lifestyle and actually began to enjoy what I do. I gave me a sense of accomplishment to be helping my parents so tremendously and still be learning from it. With business as my new found passion, I no longer saw helping my parents with work as a chore but instead as a way to practice and study the fundamentals of business. In hindsight, I realized that by helping my parents I not only alleviated their clerical stress but it sparked in me a lifelong interest in business and taught me that with hard work and diligence you can discover your passion.
I'm open to suggestions, please tell me what you think!
Thanks in advance!
I really like how descriptive you are, but maybe you could revise your last sentence? It didn't seem to be clear enough.
maybe you could use this:
In hindsight, I realized that helping my parents not only alleviated their clerical stress but also ignited a spark in me to pursue a degree in business. The experience also taught me that a passion can be discovered under the most unexpected of circumstances.
just a quick draft, might not even be that great but it's what I've got.
Hope it helped!
What a great writing style you have! I had an idea for this first sentence:
...as it slithered upward to pester my younger...
Use a hyphen: As a fourteen year-old
... and I was the oldest among my siblings, in the family, I became the negotiator, trying to seal the most profitable deal for them.
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