I never expected my life to be so severely altered so early. I was just an innocent eleven years old when my parents sat my brother and I down between rounds of Guitar Hero to tell us that they think it is best for them to separate. Instantly I thought it was a joke, some kind of ploy to scare us when a joyful activity was really just around the corner to lighten our spirits. But no comforting words came. No asterisk next to my mother's statement to remind us it was a joke. Just silence. My cheeks were soaked by the time I realized my eyes were pouring rivers of tears. My body understood what my mind did not accept. Whenever life got hard before, I always had my family to turn to, but now that security was swept from under my feet. My only aspiration was the possibility of my parents making amends, but even I knew that was childish ignorance. The uncertainty of my future haunted me. I was afraid. Eventually, after several months of denial and depression swings I reached acceptance. I came to the realization that no matter how dreadful and down life may get, life will go on. Enlightened by this principle, I now see every boundary in life as a challenge to overcome.
Years later, I now understand that my parents' divorce might have been the best thing for me. Bouncing from home to home on a weekly basis at such a young age forced me to grow up quickly. I now knew my parents would not always be there for me, teaching me the crucial lessons of self-sufficiency and independence. They would no longer be there to set my schedule and make sure I had everything I needed; I had to carve my own path. The epiphany I reached now guides me through life's many strifes. Each new obstacle that life throws at me, I am ready to face it and conquer it. Admittedly, I did not always succeed; rather I failed often. However, I knew that whatever consequences befell me would not be cleaned up by my parents. Therefore, I was forced to understand my mistakes and evolve to become more apt to conquer the challenges of the future. Many children are sheltered from the consequences of failure, while I view failure as a necessary evil. Failure is just another step in the progression of success. I believe that unless the agony of failure has been implanted in one's heart, the incentive to be successful will remain ungraspable.
When my parents divorced, the only cause I saw was the emotional incompatibility between them. Therefore, I became increasingly sensitive to the feelings of others and focused on being positive whenever possible in hopes of creating stable relationships. Now I know that there was much more to the divorce than hurt feelings, but my attitude towards others remains unchanged. By treating others with the respect and kindness they deserve, I have created several lasting friendships and am well received by my peers.
Though the divorce of my parents seemed to destroy my life at the time, in actuality it helped define who I am by teaching me to be independent and not give up on the path to success.
Hi, just several personal opinions.
1. Too many sentences start with I and too many short sentences. Try to find another way to express.
2. I won't say the divorce is the best thing for me. Think of another word.
3. It might be better to add a transition sentence between paragraph 2 and 3.
:)
Hi,
I think this is the perfect essay for this topic though i do too believe you should use less I .
Also I've read that colleges take distances between paragraphs as a contributing factor. But it is perfect.
I would very much appreciate it if you could take a look at my essay. Im not native so my writing is not that good.
Thanks in advance.
Hey i really liked it! I can relate to it pretty well! :-/
You might want to give a more positive outlook as to how it has impacted you, given that you're talking about a very big negative impact like divorce. It's a good one ! Good luck!
I have one suggestion. Besides the fact that there are too many I's, I feel that maybe adding in a couple of sentences of how you came into acceptance of your parents divorce would make the essay better.
Thanks for the tips everyone!
In my original essay, I had a better description of how I came to accept the divorce and had a bit more elaboration also. However, that was a 625 word essay when the limit was 500 so I had to cut some stuff out. This current version is about 550, any ideas of where to cut?
