essay about how I dealt with my adversity.. criticize please..
The most difficult adversity I have faced in my life has not ended yet. Beginning in May of this year, my parent's relationship began to crumble and entered a downward spiral that led my whole family into the situation in which I am today; their divorce. Seeing my parent's eighteen year marriage end is something that I never thought would happen. They taught us that marriage should be "until death do us apart", and now I see that sometimes it is just inevitable.
Since the problem began to unfold, my father has always kept me informed of the situation so I am not completely unaware of its status. In addition, he always asks me for my opinion on important decisions such as custody, new houses, and finances, between others. He always says: "I know you are mature as an adult so I trust you will think critically before you give me your opinion." and until now I have not failed him.
The most difficult part of it all is serving as my little sister's support. My little sisters are fourteen and fifteen years of age, and have been very affected in this process. According to a preventive psychological evaluation we went to, they are both a little unstable. It hurts me to see them that way and I have done everything that I can to constantly assist them.
Nevertheless, I have faced the situation in a way the psychologist said to be amazing. Even though the situation hurts me as a member of the family, I have not let it affect my exterior life. My academic, social, religious and extracurricular life keeps being the same. My goals and passions have remained unchanged, giving me the opportunity to serve as an example to my sisters and comfort some friends who have been currently facing the same problem; demonstrating that problems and adversities should never stop us from following our dreams and reaching our goals.
I'm trying to figure out if I agree with Alexia. I think it is okay to start with "the most difficult," but maybe it is awkward...
How about this:
The My most difficult adversity I have faced in my life has not ended yet. ---I like this sentence. I think it is stronger, because more energy is packed into a smaller space.
When you show possession for something that is plural, put the apostrophe after the s:
Beginning in May of this year, my parent 's parents' relationship began to
Nevertheless, I have faced the situation in a way the psychologist said to be called "amazing."----I added " " marks here...
My goals and passions have remained unchanged---I think you should give a sentence or two to describe them. :-)
