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My parents are both from the Dominican Republic; Rutgers - Diversity, multicultural


ladyD 1 / 1  
Jan 19, 2014   #1
I need help editing this essay, I'm not sure if I need to add any additional information, or if what i'm writing makes sense!

Please Help!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jan 19, 2014   #2
What are we going to read if you don't write?

For the introductory paragraph, this pattern could be followed:
- Introduction paragraph by showing the general idea(s) related to Diversity and Multicultural.
- Then followed by the thesis statement, which shows your claim on the issue derived from analytical readings of the texts.
OP ladyD 1 / 1  
Jan 21, 2014   #3
The question and answer are as followed:

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.

Rutgers as previously mentioned has a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences; as a person who enjoys meeting new people and being introduced to new environments, I believe this to be one of many opportunities that I can look forward to as a student in Rutgers University. Rutgers being a very diverse University offers students like me the chance to understand the vast world we live in and also be able to meet and interact with other cultures that we may not be familiar with.

My parents are both from the Dominican Republic, which offered me the opportunity to study abroad in the Dominican Republic at the age of 15. Studying abroad changed my life completely; I had the chance to experience things I would have never been able to, studying in the United States. Studying abroad allowed me to grow culturally as I learned about my Dominican culture and heritage, learning how passionate this country is about politics, baseball, and so much more; I've grown personally because I would have never imagined to have made so many close friends during the process, or learned to live in a different environment from what I am used to. But one of the most important things I learned was to enjoy the changes that life brings you, or better yet to appreciate the opportunities that are handed to us. I have also had the privilege to go to Puerto Rico; I was introduced into a culture I knew very little about, it was an amazing experience learning and meeting new people. Tasting great food, visiting a lot of spectacular spots, it was surreal.

Most of us when traveling to new places only think of the beautiful and luxurious parts of where we are visiting, but sometimes getting to know the more rural parts is what helps us understand the actual culture itself. Getting to know and visit places where not all tourists take the chance to go has changed me, because actually being in those areas and seeing the way others live can change your prospective on things.

Going to a school where we are all equals and everyone is accepted for who they are is the ideal school for me. I respect people with different beliefs and look forward to learning from them. Not only am I eager for the chance to become part of this educational experience, but I also believe that I can contribute by sharing the information and experience I have gained along the way. I look forward to a new lifestyle which will help me succeed in many aspects in my life.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 24, 2014   #4
Rutgers as previously mentioned has a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences; as a person who enjoys meeting new people and being introduced to new environments, I believe this to be one of many opportunities that I can look forward to as a student in Rutgers University.

I suggest you to change the order of this sentence to make it read better;
As a person who enjoys meeting new people and exploring new environments, I believe that my acquaintance with Rutgers vibrantly diverse community would earn a great experience and exposure for me.

Rutgers being a very diverse University offers students like me the chance to understand the vast world we live in and also be able to meet and interact with other cultures that we may not be familiar with.

You better find out more details about Rutgers diversity and refer to those specific features.


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