This is for Brown but I don't know if it's good enough...
Prompt: Best piece of advice you've ever been given, why? <500 words but i'm under>
"Never give up:" advice that keeps me going. Advice my parents have told me countless times, a phrase I'll keep to heart.
If this advice had come from anyone else, I probably would not have taken it seriously but because the advice came from my parents I have stored it in a little crevice of my brain: no, not because of filial piety or anything like that, but because I have grown up seeing my parents follow this advice and succeed.
My parents "never gave up." They had their goals and always strived to achieve them; in this case their goals were to achieve a college education. Getting a college degree was not easy for my parents. My family was constantly moving because my father was enlisted in the military, English was my mom's second language, and my dad was constantly deployed. Online courses and college breaks had to be taken and credits had to be transferred. However, through all the bumps and cracks my parents continued to pull through. After 11 years my dad achieved his undergraduate degree, got his masters degree, and is applying for law school. My mom got her associates degree and is now on her way towards her undergraduate degree - in fact she'll graduate next year. My parents had a set goal and they constantly tried to continue on towards achieving it. They encountered hardships but were not driven from their path of getting an education.
I want to become like my parents. I want to always strive towards a goal I have - I want to pull through no matter how many obstacles there are and achieve success. I want to "never give up," and I want to be able to succeed like my parents so I can pass on the message. I'm going to live everyday with this message in mind and "never give up."
You're a good writer, but I feel like this should concentrate more on you. I feel like you spent too long discussing how your parents didn't give up. Maybe give specific examples on how YOU will never give up? Hope that helps, good luck!
If you have the time, mind critiquing my Yale supplement? Thanks in advance!