We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit)
My parents were quite young when I was born. They weren't too young for a child, but they had not yet had the time to set their new lives up on a strong foundation. My mother was not able to complete college as she had planned to because she had to take on a job to help support the family. My father's low-paying lumber job alone was not enough to pay bills, household expenses, and the rent on our small apartment in the not-so-nice part of town.
After a few years, we moved in with my grandparents to save up money, and were soon able to afford a dilapidated, fixer-upper just in time for me to start kindergarten at the nearby elementary school. We were happy to have our own home, even though it was hard to live without central heat and air along with a whole array of other problems because it meant a new start for us. I watched the house transform as we spent countless hours of hard work on it together as a family. We were fine doing it ourselves because we did not have enough money to pay to have the work done, and besides, my father is a strong believer in doing things yourself.
Just before my ninth birthday, a category three hurricane came sweeping along Virginia's coast, knocking a tremendous oak tree straight through my house and all of our hard work. We had to live in a temporary home while ours was being worked on, and the whole time, my parents fought over what would become of our house. Soon after, they split up briefly, and my dad developed an alcohol problem while staying at his parents' house.
During those months, I watched helplessly, fearing for our future, as my life fell apart. I was in a new house without my toys, furniture, or friends, and I also felt like my parents' divorce was imminent. My father distanced himself from me and my mother when all I wanted was for them to reassure me. I would have given up nearly anything just to put things back the way they had been, but instead of talking, I bottled up all of my emotions and tried to push them aside. It left me sad nearly all of the time, but I covered it up with a fake smile and a quiet, care-free attitude.
A few months later, my parents got back together and we moved back into our house. I was genuinely happy for the first time in awhile. I felt like all of our problems would be solved, but by that time my parents had lost their hope in the house and their relationship. They have never gotten along completely since then, and my father's alcoholism has remained as well. As for the house, it is still unfinished, but this time around, as I struggled to understand all the changes, I learned that hiding all of my feelings would only leave me as miserable as before. Instead, I talked to others and began trying to cope with what I was given.
Over the next few years our lives got a lot tougher. My sister was born in the summer before middle school, and shortly afterwards my dad lost his job due to his alcoholism. This was compacted when my mom got demoted because her company could not afford all of its workers, but I never lost hope in myself. I tried, more than ever, to better myself, and to secure the future that I knew I deserved.
Although my parents have not always made the best decisions, I have learned many things from their mistakes. I have learned that you should never rush into anything that you are not prepared for, you should never give up on something because it gets too hard, and that you can always do something to better your situation. I sometimes wish that I had not been forced through the many unstable and unpredictable times that I have gone through in my life, but it has been for the better because it has given me the push I need to try the best I can to succeed in life.
Now, as I reach my last year of high school, I find that these lessons, values, and my love of higher math have led me to aspire for a career in engineering or actuarial science. I know that if I put in all of my effort, I will be able to climb to the top of either of these professions. I have complete confidence in my ability, and I know that with a little hope and a lot of hard work, I can make it through the toughest times.
For your essay, I would recommend focusing more on "showing" not "telling". It was very unfortunate that you had to go through so much, at such a young age, but that should be your focus; right now, the essay is more about what happened to your parents than you... Also be sure to write more about how these experiences shaped you, you might want to try starting the essay backwards, and ending it with an even more positive out look (for example you can use parts of your final sentence as your opening, then talk about your life, and finally end it with a more developed picture of who you are today).
