Parsons Admission Essay - Why do I lust for design

Write a one-page statement describing the events and ideas that led to your interest in the major (fashion design) stated on your application form

Before I graduated, I asked my fashion class if I was the best dressed, the answer wasn't no it was just that I was to wired to be the best dressed. This wasn't the first time in my life that I realized that I was different. It was in the first grade when I realized that I couldn't read and every one else could, it was the second grade when every one got better except for me. It wasn't until 5th grade that I could of even looked at the same books as my fellow classmates, but unfortunately I didn't have any classmates that year. The kids called it being stupid, the professionals called it being dyslexic but I called it being myself.

We all need away out, a way to touch the people who surround are soles. My father develops ways to preserve what goes in our bodies. My mother develops ways to preserver our sanity. I develop ways to set us free.

Design is my hands but I create with the raw emotional thought coursing throw me. The kids that have shaped who I am, have motivated me to reveal who we all are. I see what fights beneath are skin. My hands give me the ability to change and affect, by showing an almost pure expression of what is inside.

Change is inevitable. It is who and how it is changed that truly affects us. My cage was opened and I want nothing more then to fly away but I have only learnt to walk. Now teach me how to fly.

I just throw this down, haven't shown any one yet and I wanted to no if its to vague or sloppy, I'm really lost.

Your essay is not sloppy! The opening is intriguing, the middle is challenging and the last paragraph, quite poetic.

Some Q's and suggestions in CAPS:
Before I graduated, I asked my fashion class if I was the best dressed, the answer wasn't no - (NEED FOR PUNCTUATION HERE!) it was just that I was to wired to be the best dressed. This wasn't the first time in my life that I realized that I was different. It was in the first grade when I realized that I couldn't read and every one else could, it was the second grade when every one got better except for me. It wasn't until 5th grade that I could of even looked at the same books as my fellow classmates, but unfortunately I didn't have any classmates that year. The kids called it being stupid, the professionals called it being dyslexic but I called it being myself.

We all need away out, a way to touch the people who surround are soles (DO YOU MEAN OUR SOULS??). My father develops ways to preserve what goes in our bodies. My mother develops ways to preserver our sanity. (YOUR DAD IS A DOCTOR AND YOUR MOTHER A SHRINK??) I develop ways to set us free.

It is who and how it WHAT is changed that truly affects us.

I want nothing more then (THAN) to fly away

I see what fights beneath are (OUR) skin.