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'to be a part of the scientific revolutions' - SOP - fascination with biology

Praptee 1 / 2  
Sep 9, 2015   #1
I have yet to work even more on this. This is the first draft and I don't know what to put instead of the question marks in the first paragraph!! Please help me improve this and make it sound more convincing and passionate!

Since as long as I can remember, I have always been very engrossed with the mechanism of life, in and around me. The concept of life has, without interruption or moderation, managed to somehow intrigue, fascinate and indulge me all at once. This passion remained a driving force and flourished all through my middle school and high school years and has now become the only thing I can picture myself pursuing in life. I have, therefore, decided to let it thrive and proliferate into concrete and clear mission which is the formal study of riveting field of biotechnology.

My interest in biotechnology, as a career path, was stimulated in middle school when I stumbled upon "2001 space odyssey", a movie I still consider an inspiration to new technology. For me, however, the idea of life's triumph and perseverance outside of earth was utterly spellbinding. I remember talking to my biology teacher, at the time, about how I want to make the conditions of life boundless, and then being mocked for the "utterly ridiculous idea", as she put it. Apparently, our metabolic needs could not be fulfilled outside of this planet, and genetic engineering was only a fictional fascination in progress back then. This, however, only inspired me even more to make it a possible future lifestyle.

By the time I was in high school, the field of biotechnology had started picking momentum and I couldn't be happier or more intrigued by the growing rate of breakthroughs. The one, among many, that took the field of biology by storm was when a team of Japanese scientists created viable egg cells using embryonic stem cells from adult mice. This revolutionary breakthrough simultaneously frightened and fascinated people with an infinite set of possibilities. The power to create life from a bunch of cells that could develop into any of the many possible things was an overwhelming concept to most. I, however, dreamed of being one of these amazing pioneers who had the resources and skills to overpower nature itself. As a result, all through high school, I put utmost effort to excel at biology and equip myself with the basics that would take me into an excellent institution, such as this one, to give better and brighter dimensions to my dreams and ideas.

During and after high school, fortunately for me, and many science enthusiasts out there, manipulation of life conditions on genetic and molecular level grew onto new horizons surpassing the label of "fiction" by highly cultivated miles of research. The research and devotion in this field has grown steadily for a long time and has mushroomed in the past few years. This exceptional rate of progress has helped me mature an even stronger desire to work in the field and be a part of the scientific revolutions being brought to life all around the world at this very moment.

To realise this desire and my ever budding fascination with biology and broaden my horizons as a potential scientist and a scholar, I need both training and guidance. And I cannot think of a better university than this, in or outside of my home country, Nepal.

I am sure that through my association with the university, I will be skilled enough to give back in folds to the field of science and humanity, as much as I receive in terms of knowledge and experience. And I hope, ever so sincerely, that this statement of purpose, along with my academic and scientific drive, earns me a place in your institution.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Sep 9, 2015   #2
- SinceFor as long as I can remember,
- ...flourished all through out my middle school...
- Therefore, I have, therefore, decided to let...
- However,f or me, however, the idea ...
- ..I put utmost effort to excel atin biology..

- To realiserealize ( be careful of your spelling, turn on your spell checker) this desire..
- ... in orand outside of my home country, Nepal.
- And I hope, ever so sincerely,...

Well done!!!
Best of luck and let us know the results, we'd love to hear from you.
OP Praptee 1 / 2  
Sep 9, 2015   #3
Thankyou so much for the corrections. I will make sure to edit the original document. Do I need to add anything more? Is this convincing enough?

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