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participation in organizations + extracurricular resources - Hopkins supplement

etaang 4 / 40  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
1. Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

For these past four years, almost every single endeavor I've undertaken has been in an attempt to further my understanding of public policy, law, political science and government. My participation in organizations like Model United Nations and Policy Debate has rewarded me with insight into the mechanics of international affairs and domestic political reform; through Mock Trial and Moot Court, I am capable of perceiving the inherent worth of jurisprudence and legal forensics. All of these extracurricular achievements are rounded-out by the knowledge I've accumulated in my Government and History classes, along with my self-studying of economics.

But truthfully, I don't turn to politics solely because of its utility. That politics allows for us to resolve issues on the societal scale is a powerful motivator, but my fascination with this science caters to a much deeper need: more than anything else, I love listening to the ideas of others. It's that sudden rush of comprehension when I hear another opinion more informed, reasoned and correct than my own - a feeling of pure frustration and humility - that I've come to crave. In the political world, the environment that is most conducive to such an experience, I'll be forced to accept that there will always be debates above my level of comprehension, arguments that I am incapable of winning, and points that I just can't rebut. Arriving at this conclusion is what ultimately allows for me to refine my intellect and improve upon my character.

2. A Typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?

I've been told that education is less than half of the total Hopkins experience, so ignoring the extracurricular resources your school has to offer would be doing me a horrible disservice. Primarily, I've always been immensely interested in collegiate-level Model United Nations and I hope to join the Hopkins program. Model United Nations is something that has become inextricably connected with my life, so whether it's having a spot on your school's travel team or contributing to the Johns Hopkins Model United Nations Conference, I anticipate keeping this passion of mine alive for another four years. Moreover, because I want to continue the development of my speech and debate skills, I find the Hopkins Policy Debate Team, the Woodrow Wilson Debate Council and the Mock Trial Association to be exceptionally compelling. The assets that are accrued through such organizations, such as eloquence in public speaking and analytical prowess, will undoubtedly enrich both my political studies and my stay at Hopkins as a whole.

But that's not to say that I'm stubbornly committed to only academic competition-related extracurriculars. I have been perennially interested in one particular activity - an activity that has also consistently eluded my grasps due to financial and geographical reasons: sailing. There's just something unmistakably attractive about being on the open water while there's a palpable level of uncertainty in the air; I hope to take advantage of Hopkins' access to the Chesapeake's Outer Harbor in earning my very first pair of sea legs.

I really need some help with these...
essceejay216 4 / 51  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
1. You did not state outright what major(s) you wanted to pursue. It is imperative that you answer the prompt, and this essay doesn't quite do it. You have all the information to back up a decision, but you didn't actually state what that decision was.

2. The prompt specifically says to express activities "Aside from the academic interests" and you used the whole first paragraph to elaborate on that academic interest. Find something else at JH that you would be interested in and talk about that.

Other than those things, you grammar seems pretty good and your purpose is clear.

Good luck!

PLEASE, read mine??
OP etaang 4 / 40  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
1. Remember that the prompt itself does not ask for you to identify the major; it's more or less implied in the Supplement itself (where there is a button/slot for you select your major) and it simply wants for you to elaborate upon your decision.

2. Again, the prompt is asking for extracurricular activities that pique your interest; just because you pick a few activities that overlap (in orientation) with your major does not you have missed the purpose of the question.

But that aside, thanks for the helpful feedback! I'll get onto yours in a second.

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