Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Participation in the Smart Scholars program - challenge that brought out the best and worst from me


duedateguy 2 / 8 1  
Dec 12, 2014   #1
It's due tonight, if anyone could please proof read this and tell me what you think i'd be so grateful! Thank you.

Essay prompt: Tell us about one interest or experience of yours that allows us to get to know you better as an individual. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.

Throughout my academic career, the most interesting challenge that has brought out both the best and worst in me is my participation in the Smart Scholars program - a program which enrolls students into Medgar Evers College full time, while they must conduct a regular full-time schedule in high school. I started in my junior year and it was rough, looking back - I probably wasn't ready for such a challenging endeavor. But I can see now that it was the catalyst for a highly positive transformation in me as a person and as a student.

I was not always as disciplined as I am now. In previous years I had filled my daily schedule with junk activities such as playing videogames, watching marathons of television series, and being absorbed in social media. It wasn't until finals week of college courses rolled around that I began to face the consequences of procrastination, laziness, and complacency. It was after a week filled with all-nighters and excessive amounts of caffeine that I realized that I was never going to be successful if I carried on with these masturbatory and distractive activities. I had discovered a newfound passion for finance and wanted to become an investment banker. The idea of getting the best deal on a sale/purchase of a company with millions if not billions of dollars at stake is an exciting and also challenging prospect in that significant amounts of reasoning and attention to detail would be required in the high-risk, high-energy environment that is Wall Street. But I realized that I couldn't be successful in the Smart Scholars program (or in life for that matter) if I continued down the same path that I had been following. The Smart Scholars program helped highlight this fact in that I struggled to keep my head above the water and prepare for exams to get an A. It severely highlighted the problem and it was up to no one but me to fix .

This realization led me to go through a period of introspection and improvement. I replaced an hour of Facebook with an hour at the gym, building my physique and confidence simultaneously. I joined the swim team in effort to improve my social and leadership skills and obtain the ability to work with a team. I did any and everything that I believed would instill discipline in me from cleaning my room daily to learning how to cook. I converted idle time into an opportunity that I could talk to others and improve on my communication skills. I designed and organized a study plan to keep me ahead of the material in class, ensuring that all-nighters would no longer be necessary.

In the end, the Smart Scholars program created a new, better version of myself. It bred and brought out true character in me and turned me into a hard working person.


I really need to shorten this essay.
tehreem 1 / 2  
Dec 12, 2014   #2
Try to convey to the reader that you yourself implemented this change instead of attributing it all to the scholars program. Have a punchier ending and beginning. The transition from videogames to you wanting to become an accountant needs to be more explained showing development. perhaps the last paragraph could be used to illustrate that change. Also elucidate upon what happened at this scholars program specifically, other than routine, that made you change yourself.


Home / Undergraduate / Participation in the Smart Scholars program - challenge that brought out the best and worst from me
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳