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'pass and move' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER


mukhia08 7 / 22  
Dec 25, 2011   #1
TOPIC: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Pass and move, pass and move: that is what you call the beautiful game.

Football is my life, it is my passion. For me, there is no greater joy than leading my team out there on the pitch. Out there, I have no troubles; it's just about my teammates and I, getting the three points.

Centre mid is my position, the hub of the team, and controller of the game. Coaches along with my teammates say, that it is my duty to dictate the contest.

To be honest, I like that kind of responsibility; it instills some confidence in me. It shows that my coach trusts me, but more importantly it illustrates the amount of faith the rest of my teammates have in me.

Football has taught me about competition and the thrill of winning, whilst being a part of a team has taught me of the importance of trust and comradeship. When I'm on the field, I can genuinely tell you that when it comes to winning I am the most motivated person. Furthermore, I will do anything for the good of my team, they are my family.

Bill Shankly once said that some people think that football is a matter of life and death, I can assure them that it's much more than that. My attitude towards football could not be better described.
adaswani 1 / 2  
Dec 25, 2011   #2
I love the opening, however even though i always call it football you might want to say soccer to make it clear

Instead of "hub of the team" I would use engine, makes it sound like your driving the play forward and providing the energy

Instead of getting the three point might want to use bring home the victory as not many people would understand that

The last sentence i would have as (Bill Shankly once said "Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don't like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that." Great words that epitomize my attitude towards the beautiful game)
deremifri 9 / 137  
Dec 25, 2011   #3
I think it should be : it's just about my teammates and me

Otherwise great essay
cupnoodle123 15 / 52  
Dec 26, 2011   #4
Furthermore, I will do anything for the good of my team, they are my family. this sounds like just an add in to make up for saying you love winning...maybe rephrase to sound more natural...

Bill Shankly once said that some people think that football is a matter of life and death, I can assure them that it's much more than that. My attitude towards football could not be better described.waste of characters..the prompt already wants u to elaborate as well as possibly about this...so ya...

thisis very interesting though! Just work on trying to add perhaps a bit more concrete details about what you do/why you do it/teamwork idk... and say it concisely...This essay really focuses on someone writing as much substance in as little space as possible :)


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